One more day and SDs now putting on pressure
Hello everyone! Sounds like as usual, the holidays are stirring up all those good old stepdilemmas for many of you. Same here. Here it is Wednesday and I don't think my DH has yet settled in to the idea of not spending Thanksgiving with SDs. To make it worse, they themselves have each called to encourage him to come to BM's house (well, to encourage both of us, and I think they are sincere in including me in the invite, but BM not so much).
A couple of days ago I thought it was settled. I arranged for us to go to the shore for two nights, staying in a cottage we have access to through family. I already gave our turkey to the food bank. But DH is still making some noise about "well, the girls really want us there," etc. Even though when I ask if he WANTS to go, his answer is a resounding "no."
According to my calculations and information about the girls' plans, by going to the cottage we will miss about two hours with them. They are supposed to be at our place all day Saturday and Sunday. Am I a wicked stepmother in this matter? I need a reality check. It's true that if my biokids weren't out of the country, I would certainly be staying in town and cooking a big meal.
I don't want to be manipulative with DH, but I think I am going to e-mail him and tell him that if he wants to spend the day with BM, I will not stand in the way. And maybe I will go to the cottage by myself! But I do want him to feel free and open to express his regret about the girls standing us up for the holiday, and his sadness about not being with them...except, the reason he isn't going to be with them is me, or so it feels, no matter what he says.
This is so frustrating because DH totally and comfortably agreed a few days ago that to go to BM's would represent a big step backwards in our efforts to separate out from her more.