Closer to the conversation, I think
I am thinking more and more that DH is going to have to say something to BM about the boundaries issue, but after all these years, I am so afraid it will upset the apple cart of the amicable relationship the two houses have had.
Yesterday DH was meeting with some clients in his office. The conference space is large and in the front of the office. All of a sudden who should show up but BM. She came by to drop off a photo from the music event they attended last month. A beautiful portrait of SD's ensemble, and it was nice of her to get him a copy. BM claimed she was "just passing by," but DH says she is never in that part of the city.
She unveiled it in front of his clients and others in his office, and then she just stood there. DH awkwardly introduced her to the clients and his office staff, and then did the "Well, I better get back to my meeting" thing. BM proceded to linger in the reception area (visible through the glass of the conference room wall) and make some calls before popping her head back into DH's office during a meeting break and talking about some SK-related stuff. DH said she was there for about 15 minutes.
Why wouldn't she just bring it by our house? DH thinks she wanted to see his new office space. He is pretty upset--this was an important set of clients and to have his ex-wife show up and hang around like that is weird.
I really don't want to hurt her, but, so inappropriate! But then I think I should do a reality check. Does her showing up like that seem wrong to you guys? And what would you do? DH said he doesn't want to get into any kind of emotional discussion with her; he thinks it would positively reinforce her. Can we get her to back off in a way that doesn't motivate her to continue to seek engagement?