SS--backsliding---moms/SMs of boys, I need advice!
The last month or so SS has really been backsliding in his behavior/attitude. It is mostly with DH and not me. (I don't know for sure how he is with his mom, but apparently, BM complains to DH a lot that SS doesn't listen to her, is disrespectful, etc) For the most part, SS is generally pleasant and well-behaved with me. We are in a good routine of me picking him up 2-3 days a week, and then DH usuaally works half-days on Sat. and I do stuff with the kids.
The beginning of the school year went GREAT. He was doing well, and for the first time ever, enjoyed school! We were so happy!
The last 4 weeks or so have been not-so-great. I don't know how to say this other than to say it---SS just seems UNHAPPY. Quite frankly, he has always kind of been a "negative nelly." DH has even said at times that he worries that SS has either inherited this trait, or learned it, from his BM. BM is the kind of person who is just chronically unhappy, and she seems to try to make other people unhappy.
SS has been SO moody and emotional lately, worse than ever before. Every little thing is an argument or a fight. He HAS to have the last word with everything, he bristles at ANY kind of gentle correction, and everything he takes as a personal attack. He is also MEAN at times. He will get angry about something and lash out at DD or at DH---never me, ironically. DH has really been cracking down on his attitude---sends him to his room for backtalk, puts him to bed early, gave him a list of chores to do, etc.
It's really bad. DH says something and SS's response is "Oh my GOD Dad." Or he'll say "I HEARD you already, DAD. You don't have to act like I'm DEAF." Or "You don't have to be so stupid, DAD." "GEEZ, DAD. Leave me alone." "I HATE DD. I wish she weren't alive." "I hate you DAD. You are terrible."
Those are just examples I can recall off the top of my hea of things SS has said recently that shocked me.
Then, inevitably, DH gets angry, and lays down a consequence----ie, going to his room, doing an extra chore, loss of Wii time, etc. THEN SS bawls and carries on about how awful his life is, how terrible his dad is, how he hates him, etc.
It makes me think of a teenage girl, honestly. Is this NORMAL coming from a 7 yr old boy?
I don't have any comparison other than DD and, while she has her moody moments, it is nothing compared to this. She rarely backtalks, and on the occasions that she does, I nip it in the bud quickly. But agin--I cannot really compare the two b/c they are two different children with two different life experiences. DD has a stable home, she stays in one place, she doesn't have a parent who drinks, etc. SS has had a LOT of emotional turmoil in his life.
something is *off* lately and DH and I were talking last night and again this morning (after a big tantrum from SS) about what the deal is. My first thought is that something is going on at BM's house. BM herself has been really irritable with DH lately, trying to pick little fights about this or that, etc. DH has, thankfully, not engaged, but he's mentioned to me that she is just crabby lately.
WWYD? Talking to BM is pretty much worthless. And how much of this is typical for a 7 yr old boy?
I want to clarify, too, SS is NOT like this ALL the time. He has plenty of moments/days where he is happy-go-lucky and fine. But it seems like the other moments are becoming more frequent, like they used to be.