SS16 overheard me dissing BM
Yes, I did it! I opened my big mouth and allowed myself the brief luxury of venting my dislike of BM. I'll explain;
SS16 was supposed to stay after school for a football practice and DH was to pick him up when he got off work. So I come home from work and SS is sitting in front of the TV. So I ask him why he's at home. He say's football was cancelled and he came home on the bus. So, I ask him if he called his father to let him know that he didn't need to pick him up. SS says no, but he sent "ME" a text to let me know that FB was cancelled. I check my phone -- no text, and I tell SS so. He insists that he sent me a text. So, I say show me the text you sent me. Immediately, he does the whiney "Oh, I forgot" routine. And then started whining about how his phone was dead and he needed to charge it and that's why he couldn't send a text -- even though he was sitting right next to the house phone and could have used it at any time! This is a routine with him -- he's a habitual liar about everything. So I said to him that it was extremely thoughtless of him to not call his father to let him know and he made some sarcastic remark back and I left at that even though I was very angry.
So later that evening after dinner, I was in the kitchen with DH and discussing the earlier conversation between SS and I. SS was downstairs on the computer and I honestly didn't think he could hear us. Anyway, I made a remark that SS was just like his mother in that he doesn't care about anyone but himself! And to some degree this is true...he can be extremely selfish and self-centered without giving any thought to anyone elses feelings (which is a strong trait of his mother). So SS overhears the comment...but doesn't say anything about it until two days later (to his father). He was very hurt by it and told his father that it was okay for me to be angry with him, but it was unfair for me to bring his mother into it. And he's right about that. Of course, I didn't intend for him to hear it and I'm really sorry that he did.
I want to apologize to him for what I said, but I also want to be prepared for a frank discussion with him. For instance, if he asks me why I think that about BM -- how do I explain to him without going into too much detail, and without lying to him about it. He's 16 and I think old enough to hear some truths, but how far do I go without hurting him further? Any constructive advice would really be appreciated -- I need to have this discussion with him soon.