Should have known better

momof3_stepof1November 8, 2011

We went to New York last week and had a great time. I should have known better then to take the kids out for ONE bettr then McDonald's meal while we were out. I really thought with it being the end of October/First of November that bm would send her $224. WRONG!!!!!!!!! She hasn't bothered to send a dime. AGAIN! She's also still not garnished. BUT... being the Disney mom, she OVERNIGHTED two separate packages for ss.... each with a different webkinz and one with a movie and a few pieces of candy. She says it's for Halloween. Who in the hell buys their kids a gift for Halloween? I didn't even spend the money for costumes.... we used what we had and made do. I figure she spent a good $70 on these overnight packages. That money could have easily been used to send her support, so we could continue to buy her son food. I'm guessing this is her getting back at us for going on vacation. OMG, I HATE her!!! I yelled at dh for this whole fiasco and told him to ask her when she would send us the money. He won't do it, he says the state is taking care of it now. I explained that UNTIL the state takes care of it, she is still resposible to mail it in. Even my ds11 bd has to make up what his paycheck doesn't cover each week. (His checks are NEVER enough to send the whole amount.... cause he has 4 cases... NOT my fault)... If this garnishment doesn't happen asap I'm going to blow! I so badly want to send her an anonymous email with the link to ds11 bd Indiana corrections sight... where it lists him in jail for non support of a child from 5/19/11 to 1/19/12. (She doesn't have a clue his name).... Or tell her I'm so glad to be the one raising her son for her.... and paying his way through the world. I'll be happy to feed him and clothe him.... just go jump off a bridge... PLEASE! I'm already doing it.... so just go away.

BTW... dh had to force ss to call her yesterday when he got those packages in the mail. He didn't want to. Then when he did call, she didn't answer. I think like someone mentioned about the kids being out of sight out of mind with some parents.... ss is that way with bm. He doesn't see her... he want nothing to do with her. He hasn't seen her since September 18 and still didn't want to speak to her.

Oh..... and let me mention.... ONCE when dh's boss forgot to mail his support to her and it was a tad late... NOT $896 behind late.... I had told her about a sale going on that was pretty good.... she told my dh that I shouldn't be out shopping when he owed her money. BUT here she is sending stupid webkinz the kid could basically care less about for like $70 and NOT sending support. I hate her I hate her I hate her!

This was a vent, I needed it badly.... please don't be rude in responses. :) Thanks!

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justmetoo

You can vent. I tend to agree it is a bit silly to send two packages but no support money. You can dislike Bm and resent the fact she does not parent in a responsible way. Pounding on the little keys and 'screaming' silently is a way to let out the frustration...just don't let the anger overwhelm you.

Dh is correct in that he needs to let the state now go through their part of collections as he signed up for. One of the reasons he signed up for the CS program was to remove himself from the constant fighting and in return getting nothing but silly excuses. Youknow yourself that if BM continues to stub her nose on CS that the state can and will 'punish' her (your other son's father found that out the hard way).

I know it gets frustrating and money is needed on a regular basis. It seems this BM has her priorities all messed up, but she's also the one who dumped the kid off and drove away with her new BF far away from her son...you don't really expect her to be a responsible sensable person do you?

Can DH call his caseworker and politely ask what kind of progress if being made on the CS effort? They may or may not be able to give him an update as to how the pursuit of obtaining CS is going and where it stands as far as how soon Dh might expect to start receiving son's CS.

In the meantime, your SS is suppose to go visit his BM Thanksgiving. When the calls start coming to arrange for the exchange I'd not be too quick to agree to do the running back and forth and expense of the visit. She wants him she can come all the way over and pick him up at her cost. Does your parenting agreement state who must do transportation?

    Bookmark   November 8, 2011 at 8:04AM
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momof3_stepof1

Thanks JMT, I'm actually on two new medications for anxiety.... I'm a little calmer, I used to get super shaky everytime I thought about her but now I just get mad. I think the meds need upped a little but I'm just starting so it'll take time.

No, I never expect that she'll ever be responsible. She talked about moving to Texas, I so wish she'd just go. Then she'd be completely responsible for transportatin. Right now our court order states that we have to drive my ss to a town just a tad over 2 hours away... that's with dh driving a bit fast. LOL! I'm guessing she'll be going to her old town for Thanksgiving, her new husband's family lives there, hers lives in our old town. (She could give two craps about her family) So I'm guessing she'll be wanting us to drive ss all the way to that town. It's a little further then the town we're supposed to take him to. She's always asked that we do that when she's gone there before.... BUT... we are usually on our way to either Michigan (it's on the way) or our old town... just a little out of the way. This year I think we are staying home.... so NO, I do NOT want to have to drive him all the way to that town. I think if we haven't gotten a dime between now and then we shouldn't have to.... since it's totally out of our pocket. BUT, dh won't tell her no. I've already pointed out these facts. I don't see her taking us to court since she's so far behind... and NOT exercising her regular parenting time, so I say we tell her if she wants him she comes to get him.... with no money that is. If she pays I'm fine with the transportation, I just know I won't have the money to make that drive without her support.

I'm not sure if dh will call his caseworker. He's one of those that won't take the extra time to do much of anything. He'll usually tell me to make calls, but in this case they won't talk to me. Maybe I can sweet talk him into it if no support comes this week. We shall see.

Just so you know.... I was uber frustrated last night about the whole gift thing and no support.... I was extra nice to ss all night. I didn't let him see it at all. (I was a little upset all night because of a dream I'd had that woke me up crying... and made me cry all day long, but he knew it was a bad dream)

    Bookmark   November 8, 2011 at 8:23AM
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