I've had enough...

missnNovember 21, 2010

The last 4 years of being a stepmom has come to an end for me. I've decided to leave my husband and his daughter.

My husband has a 9 year old daughter and I have a 9 year old son. My husband is extremely harsh and unkind to my son and does not treat the 2 kids fairly. He lets his daughter get away with murder, while the second my son does anything wrong my husband is the first to point it out.

I was in love with my husband, and now I resent him for allowing his daughter to disrespect me and always yelling at my son. His daughter has hit me and my son, and my husband will only give her a 5minute lecture. No consequences. I've had enough, I'd much rather be single forever and live in a peaceful home with my son than to be married and live in a home where rules only apply to half of the family. My mom and sister say I shouldnt call it quits because its a bumpy ride, but I say my first responsibility is my son. I'm not going to sit here and watch my so called family hurt him and destroy his confidenceand happy childhood.

I've given my husband plenty of chances to make this family work but he never follows thru with any of our plans.

We are one week shy of our 4year anniversary together.

Has anyone else here been in my shoes?

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catlettuce

Ding-Ding-Ding!!! I have and stayed way too long.

Pack you & your sons bags and find yourself a nice little nest for just you two. I wish I had done it sooner but your boy is so young and you are clearly not happy.

Go be free, happy & peaceful. I think your thinking it through clearly..and give your boy a big hug from me.

Now go get your life back!

~Cat

    Bookmark   November 21, 2010 at 3:55AM
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missn

Thanks Cat! I'm ready to move on. My son will be happy to know that we are moving. I'll be moving in with my dad for a few weeks until we can find ourselves a new place. I hope the split and the move will go peacefully.

    Bookmark   November 21, 2010 at 4:26AM
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justmetoo

I wish you and your son well.

If the children will still be going to the same school for at least a while, you might want to go into the office and see about having the son moved to a different teacher. Being in the same school might be hard, but the same classroom could be upsetting to your son and affect his grades. I'd hate to think the SD spends her school day teasing or bullying your son. If they'll still be in the same building, the school needs to be aware that additional 'trouble' could be brewing between them. Maybe if your district is large enough they'd let you transfer you son to a different buidling.

From your earlier posting "I've contemplated leaving at least every 3 months in the last 4 years. It doesn't seem to get better"... I'm not sure you can blame everything on the SD as it appears you've known since the very beginning that this relationship/marriage was not in your best interest. You gave it a good long chance but it never was meant to be for you and you sensed this clear back then. Don't let your mom and sister push and/or guilt you into remaining in this relationship. Time to think of only you and your son.

Take your time now, get moved into your father's, enjoy a house filled with happiness and love... and don't look back. One day at a time, rebuild your life and gather your strength...your son and you both deserve so much more than what you've been living.

    Bookmark   November 21, 2010 at 8:15AM
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sharicole

move on peace is so important for your son and you. children at a young age can be really hurt by poor home life. it can effect him down the road. move on and be happy.

    Bookmark   November 21, 2010 at 8:25AM
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blueheron

You are definitely doing the right thing. You are putting your son first and that is the right thing to do. It must be awful for him to be yelled at and treated meanly. Good luck to you both.

    Bookmark   November 21, 2010 at 8:59AM
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ruby_x-ray

I'm glad your moving on! Just keep your focus on why your doing it and have some of your future mapped out for you and your son. And yes, if they go to the same school and are in the same class..switch your son. Good luck, hugs your way!

    Bookmark   November 21, 2010 at 8:41PM
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