My 6 YO daughter vs. My husband...she's winning
My 6YO bio daughter is bright, funny, and smart. My husband and I have been married for 9 months. Over the last 6 months, my daughter has taken to acting scared of my husband...she'll run out of the room if they are alone in the room together saying she thinks he's going to hit her. When I ask if he's ever hit her she says no. The other night when my husband came home from work - she ran knocking over her spaghetti on the carpet - this was the first and worst response in about 3 months. On top of this my daughter has started lying about everything...she cut a hole in her shirt and told me that she fell on a rock, even lying about something as trivial as whether she brushed her teeth.
Now, I admit that I used to be very laxed about her discipline the whole guilty single parent thing. But my husband and I have been on the same page about the need for appropriate punishment and consistency. But this last episode with the spaghetti has him freaking out...he says she's concerned that she will lie to somebody at school and get him in trouble. (she's lied on him before saying he smacked her in the face or squirted juice on her - only to tell me later she lied). We've been having some pretty intense discussions and tonight he texts me to tell me he's not coming home because he needs to do some thinking.
I'm feeling so much right now. Frustrated with my daughter's lying, worrying about the re-purcussions for my husband in a worse case scenario...at the same time I am a little angry with my husband -feeling abandoned, feeling afraid, and feeling really alone in this...His common cry has been that this isn't normal, that he just wants peace. With him staying away again, I feel like my daughter who recently confessed that she just wants it to be me and her, will feel like she's won and that her strategy works. I understand my husband's fear too and wonder if the best way to give him peace is to separate or more likely divorce since he's concerned that he'll have to spend the his time at home on alert hoping she never falsely accuses him.