What to do
Hello. I am a frequent poster on this board but changed my name to keep my identity private....kinda like cawfe did a while back. Anyways I am not sure how to feel about a situation with my ds.
His father has been out of state on business a lot over the last 2 months and has not seen ds. He has talked to him on the phone daily and I know ds misses him a lot because they are close. So the other day ds came to me and said he wants to live with his dad when he comes back into town. He said that he loves me but misses his dad and if he moved in with him he could spend more time with him. I pointed out that his dad lives in a one bedroom apt in an area with a bad school district. My son then told me his dad said he was moving somewhere better soon and he would have a bedroom for my son there. My son also told me that his dad has said when he is 13 he can choose to live with him!
I am so hurt and saddened by this. Part of me knows that it is just coming out because he has not seen his dad in a while and in his mind it will fix the problem. Part of me is realistic and knows that my ex would never get custody of our son. He moves a lot, works a lot, has different girlfriends all the time, and would not be able to provide a stable life for our son. Plus he has had some mental health issues and has been arrested before. But there is a part of me that is just upset that my son would actually not want to live with me! I think we have a good relationship and we spend time together each day doing fun stuff after we get homework and dinner and stuff done. On the weekends we always do stuff together.
I am mad at my ex for putting ideas into his head. My son asked me to just think about letting him move in with his dad. I don't even know what to say to my son about it. I think this would have been easier if he would have been mad at me for something when he said this instead of out of the blue.