Inappropriate and crazy stepmother

lilysuzanne40October 16, 2006

I'd love to only have to deal with normal family difficulties. I think my stepmother has officially slipped a cog.

This weekend, she and my dad attended the funeral for a longtime family friend. Immediately after the service, when everyone was still gathered around, she approached my uncle and began yelling at him for "turning my husband's children and family against him."

She repeatedly demanded an apology (to her) for his alleged actions. She refused to be shushed, even by my dad, and eventually he dragged her away practically kicking and screaming.

Is it wrong to wish that they would just get a divorce?

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organic_maureen

I'm so sorry for your family. Terrible behavior on your stepmother's part. So much anger these women harbor... When I first read your original post, my heart sunk, as your story is so similar to mine. There are a few stepmothers who really destroy the entire family unit. I think the lack of self confidence over takes any common sense or logic. They see themselves as victim as evidenced by your SM's demand for an apology, with no regard for anyone else. My SM excluded me from my dad's 70th bday party. Two months before the party I was told I wouldn't be invited. I have no siblings, grandparents, aunts,uncles or children of my own. Basically just my dad and my husband's family.. I was heartbroken. I understand your pain and although many can't really understand this side of the coin, it does exist and it's a terrible ordeal no matter how adult you are...

    Bookmark   October 17, 2006 at 2:11PM
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sunnygardenerme

Yes, I agree that SM was out of line, however, what has happened in the past to make her feel left out, disrespect, and not loved? I have never blown up at anyone, however, as a step mother I have felt frustrated, unloved, unwanted, disrespect, stepped on, left out, ignored by my step children. They have manipulated and hurt my DH and I so many times I cannot count them. And just when I think things are fine, here they come again with another hurtful manipulating attempt to cause friction in our marriage. I get so tried and frustrated that deep down inside I feel like letting go and yelling at someone. It is stressful being a step mother. I have always been loved, liked, embraced by all people I have met in my life (over 45 years). However, not with these step kids. I have tried and tried, but nothing is good enough and they continue to attempt to make our marriage difficult. If the SKs only realized that when they hurt me they hurt their father maybe they would let up. Just keep all of this in mind before you totally condem you SM. She has probably been through alot.

    Bookmark   October 17, 2006 at 8:10PM
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jackiehammack

my stepmother is crazy my dad had a stroke and is in a rehabilation center for stroke recovery and my sister has not been up there to see him because she has been busy working and doing other things so when she called my stepmother to tell her she was going to see our dad my stepmother called her namesand she had no right going up there besides he was going to have some tests done and so my sister says she will be up there tuesday and my stepmother said she did not want my sister there i am tired of my stepmother she has been nothing but troubled and it makes me wanna say to her it is not like your messed up trying to meet a married man while your still married to my dad and making my dad meet him i wanna kill her i know my dad loves her but he does not see what she is and who she is how could have married a woman like that

    Bookmark   September 15, 2013 at 8:36PM
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emma

My step grand daughter said she was glad her mom and dad got a divorce. The fighting stopped.

This post was edited by EmmaR on Sun, Sep 15, 13 at 22:01

    Bookmark   September 15, 2013 at 10:00PM
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kkny

EmmaR -- not certain what that comment has to do with this topic.

Sunny -- Even if SM was not made to feel welcome, to discuss at funeral is really not nice.

    Bookmark   September 15, 2013 at 10:33PM
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NadineV

It was inappropriate what happened at the funeral, your SM really did lose control of herself. Not knowing her side or anything I cannot speak for her however, was she close to the one who passed away? Grief can affect some people badly so that they aren't rational and they displace their pain onto someone else. She may possibly be grieving and just not reacting well to it. If not, well then... What a nasty thing to do at someone's funeral while everyone else is emotionally distressed.

    Bookmark   September 15, 2013 at 11:09PM
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colleenoz

Am I the only one who noticed the funeral was almost 7 years ago?

    Bookmark   September 16, 2013 at 3:09AM
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emma

It's about "sometimes divorce is better" for everyone.

    Bookmark   September 16, 2013 at 4:12PM
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Mom-of-all-trades

I did notice that this is an old post but the SM did exhibit bad behavior. It is inappropriate under any circumstances. My ex husband has very few family members supporting him because his wife is putting a wedge between them.

The latest is a doozy! My ex's niece is coming to visit from out of state. His wife does not work. She TOLD my son and daughter-in-law that the niece will be staying with them because she did not want to feel like she had to take care of her child. It is a visit during weekdays. Both my son and DIL work. The poor niece's parents passed away tragically when she was barely 20. Nice "aunt".

    Bookmark   August 5, 2014 at 8:10AM
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viv4

My own, very dear sweet biological mother had an angry melt down directed at me at a family funeral. We all just chalked it up to stress, sadness, etc. I forgave her in a few days.

So, why is it when stepmothers have similar emotional responses they are automatically vilified ?

    Bookmark   August 20, 2014 at 4:47PM
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