Revelations - long post
SD36, DS7 and I went on a short trip together earlier this week. One afternoon, SD36 opened up on some of her feelings about DS7, DH, BM and SS29 as a child with DH. Also about her childhood. The conversation began with her telling DS7 that he has "more and does more than any other kid I know."
In short, she told me that DH spent No time with SS29 as a child and that she felt that DH and BM should not have become parents! She said that when DS7 was born that SS said that he would not be his brother, and that he would not claim him . She went on to say that SS loves DS now but is justified in feeling jealous of him.
SD admitted that she spends more time and money on SGS8 and SGS2 along with other kids than with DS7 because "he has everything including you." She tried to put that in what she thinks is a positive light I guess. I was floored when she said that she might start a college fund for all of the other kids but not for mine.
Last, but not least, she gave a long list of reasons why she wasn't involved with helping out while DS7 was battling cancer. I won't share them but they boil down to being busy in her own life. She steered clear of SS's lack of help with DS while sick.
I did my best to just listen. I don't know what her motives were for sharing all of that with me. I doubt she was just feeling warm and fuzzy. She asked me not to tell DH all of this and I haven't so far. I think she wants me to help to get DH more involved with SS and his kids, also, in some weird way, make me feel responsible for some of the things happening with BM, SS29 and his crew. Of course, I don't feel any of that although I didn't say so.
None of what she told me was shocking although I didn't know that SS had originally disavowed my son, his 1/2 brother. I was still surprised. Also, I think she only scratched the surface of their issues with me, my son, and DH. To hear a grown, successful woman admit jealousy of a little boy and justify her grown brother's jealousy is something else. I think they are totally clueless on how their insensitivity toward my child when he was battling cancer feels to me or why it's important.
I'm interested to see what the group here has to say, especially the BM's. I'm not angry and my feelings aren't hurt, I'm still processing it all.