Step Parent Adoption

hismommytobeOctober 2, 2013

Has anyone successfully had a judge terminate a parents rights so that they could adopt? I want to adopt my step son. He's 5. His biological mother has never been in his life. She doesn't pay child support and never filed for visitation. My step son doesn't even know who she is. I have been his mommy for two years now. I have hired an attorney and they say we have a good case but I am worried. We were supposed to have a GAL but they never got in touch with us. We have a ton of evidence to show abandonment and to show the birth mother unfit. I just want to hear from others that have been through this WITHOUT the other parent signing over their rights. Birth mother is trying to contest this.

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mkroopy

I have no experience with this stuff, but just wanted to wish you good luck. The child will be so much better off with someone in their life that wants them. Why would a mother who has not been in the kids life for 5 years contest it? Just revenge or something? Makes no sense.....

    Bookmark   October 2, 2013 at 8:51PM
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emma

My son adopted his step son. Him and his wife saw an attorney who got a court order for the bio father to pay child support. They knew he would not pay it and they waited until he was far behind in his payments, then took him to court. He gave up his parental rights rather than pay the child support or go to jail.

    Bookmark   October 3, 2013 at 12:01AM
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hismommytobe

She is thousands of dollars behind in child support. We've offered to forgive all her debt if she would just sign her rights over and she refuses. I need to know that other people have been successful in doing this. Some days I feel so confident in our case and other days I feel like she's going to lie and make herself out to be the victim and the judge will tell us no.

    Bookmark   October 3, 2013 at 11:17AM
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emma

Take her to court. I had a neighbor once whose husband was in prison for non payment of child support. They do enforce it, but you have to push it. When I was having a problem with my ex, I had to go to Arkansas and find out where he was living. They then picked him up and brought him to Kansas and put him in jail. He told the judge he had no money and was living in his car. The judge laughed and said something about hearing that story before. He said you have to get a job and pay the support or go to jail. He wife immediately sent $500. which satisfied the courts.

    Bookmark   October 3, 2013 at 12:25PM
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hismommytobe

She has already been arrested for nonpayment and we have court soon. If she doesn't pay everything she is behind when we go to court she will go back to jail. We could care less about her money. We want this adoption over with so she can't pop in and out of my step son's life whenever she feels like it.

    Bookmark   October 3, 2013 at 4:04PM
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sylviatexas1

It sounds like she might be living in a sort of fantasy world in which she's a good mother tragically wronged by her evil ex.

I once encountered a guy who was talking to a mutual friend about his 2 ex-children.

He was sobbing, *sobbing* mind you, because his evil ex had coerced him into signing away his parental rights by threatening to have him jailed for non-payment of child support (he'd never paid one dime, but it wasn't his fault, because he'd lost his job when he was in jail...).

I asked him how old the children were...
& he couldn't remember.

    Bookmark   October 3, 2013 at 6:05PM
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hismommytobe

This woman knows nothing about her son. She doesn't know what size clothes or shoes he wears, his favorite food, his likes or dislikes, etc. She knows NOTHING about him. She can't keep a job or a residence. She has absolutely no stability. She wants nothing to do with her child but yet she's fighting the adoption.

    Bookmark   October 3, 2013 at 8:10PM
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sylviatexas1

It may have something to do with ownership, too.

This guy (it was a hundred years ago, I never had seen him before & never saw him again, & he was so incredible that I *still* remember the episode!) seemed to be most upset because 'they changed the children's names'.

so they no longer bore his brand.

Maybe she's not happy with the fact that they will no longer 'belong' to her, some other woman will 'own' them.

    Bookmark   October 4, 2013 at 3:07PM
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recordstraight

Yes, we have. My husband adopted my two children from a previous relationship a year ago in April. In our case my ex was paying only $250 in child support a month for two children aged 14 and 12. With that money I was expected to buy medicine for the youngest which is $180 a month plus food and cloths. So when we asked for an increase in Child support him and his wife left the province we live in and bought a farm and a restaurant(so she says) because according to her they couldn't afford the amount requested. Once the judge saw that they did this is was pretty well a no brainer. But we were also told that it is easier to have a step parent adoption if the kids are older then 12 as they can say if they want the adoption to go through or not. Hope this helps.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2014 at 10:51AM
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misskkay

If you can get a court certified therapist to testify on your behalf, that would really help your case. If bio mom is contesting, be prepared for trial (as I am sure you already are at this point). I would love to hear how everything works out for you after court, I am trying to go through the same thing and there really isn't much out there in the way of success contested adoption. Not because they fail, but it just seems that most step parents do not deem it necessary (or too expensive) to take on the challenge of an adoption. I have been told by some attorneys that using the child support non payment angle can be seen as you trying to bully her into giving up her child, and if you try to forgive all debt if she consents, that can be deemed as buying her child. And then, other attorneys want to use these tactics as their strategies and they are confident they will get the results they want. It really seems to come down to the judge you get and how much of a fight bio mom wants to give you. Even if she objects to consent, what are the odds that she will actually show in court to object? You even stated that if she was to show in court, she would probably be arrested for non-payment. Chances are, she is just being difficult....

    Bookmark   February 4, 2014 at 12:31PM
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hismommytobe

The judge terminated her rights and I was able to adopt!

    Bookmark   April 24, 2014 at 10:40PM
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emma

Congratulation.............I am glad it worked for you.

    Bookmark   April 29, 2014 at 8:09PM
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