I am finally admitting it!! Not SF issue.
All right I finally have decided to admitt something to myself. After three years at home with my daughter and ss, when he is here, I am sick of being a stay-at-home mom.
Before I even go on I just want to say that I have no judgements against those that feel it is best to stay at home with the kids (I have felt that way in the past) and I have no judgements against those that have to work or those that choose to work and have kids (I feel that way now).
I went to college for six years and never could figure out what I wanted to do. The one thing that I truly enjoyed I quit so that I could move back to be with my husband (then my bf). After my daughter was born I decided to go to school over the internet to get a job where i could work from home. This worked out pretty well.
It was the plan that I would stay home and work until we had our last child and that child was preschool age. Then, I was going to go back to school for whatever I choose. My dh is completely supportive of me going back to school sooner, but I feel guilty. I have what some would think is the perfect set up I have a job and stay at home with my kids. The problem is I feel like a loser to be honest. I know I should not because I am raising a child and plan to have at least one more, but I hate my job, it is so boring and unfulfilling to me.
You may remember that I recently posted about my dog being really ill. Well, I spent a fair amount of time at the university veterinary hospital. I was so jealous of the young people working on their careers. I wanted to be a vet nurse and specialize, but I quit. Now I feel that I really would like to go back and have a career that I really would enjoy. I have been thinking about getting pregnant and then starting school when the baby is around three or four months old. The college I want to go to has a on site child care program.
I am not so much wondering what people thinks is the best staying at home or not, but am I terribly selfish to change the plans my dh and I made? I just feel like i am suffocating at home and am having trouble being the kind of stay at home mom I feel I should be. What do you guys think?