What do I do?
Hello. This is my first post. I am a bio-mom to a 14 year old girl. 2 years ago she met her father after not seeing him since she was 4 years old. He gets her EOW. Now, i had explained they way we do things at our house becuase of our religon. IE: the women/girls don't wear pants, make-up, jewelry, or cut our hair. We dont have a tv. ( please don't judge me) I also don't want to dictate how he and his wife runs his household. Their house..their rules. I can't control that. Im ok with that. I started having issues with my daughter , sexually. She would seem VERY interseted in boy and sex and the age of 12/13. I had caught her looking up sexual things on the internet IE; strip danicing, how to kiss etc. We only listen to christian music and she was sneaking around listening to music that has alot of sexual messages. When she started seeing her dad again things got sooooo much worse. They let her do all the things we dont allow at our house. Wear pants, jewelry...watch whatever she wants on tv and whatever music she wants. Her lying hasnt also gotten really bold! IE: I notice that she has been lightening her hair , it is CLEARLY noticeable, She had long hair to her waist, then all of a sudden it's cut short. I look at her and ask why? She says I havent done anything to my hair. She is caught wearing eye makeup and i ask her about it she looks me in the face and says I don't have anything on my eyes. Things like that. I know alot of this seems typical rebellion for a teenager....but here is where i am getting disturbed:
1. Her bio dad has an older daughter 17, doesnt live with him, she has been trying to be and do everything she does/is. Cuts her hair like hers, like all the same guys..older guys.. tries to talk to them on facebok(which she isnt allowed to have but keeps getting an acct anyways after I keep deleting it)
2. On this facebook account she is posting lies IE: she post on her facebook tha she was skateboarding (which doesnt doesnt even have) and was thinking about her bf breaking up with her and fell and broke her foot.Total LIE. then 2 days later post the the dr. was lying about the broken foot to get money and in that post she uses f words. She has never broken her foot. That disturbes why she would make things up like that. Also she sees a pic of her sister and a guy laying in the grass, she asks her sister if "luke dyed his hair" she says no why?...my daughter then says oh wow, i had a dream of you and luke laying in the grass together but he had brown hair.
3. Since checking out her facebook page i find that she is having cyber sex with guys. Sending naked pics of herslef to them. Adding guys she doesnt even know on her page, ppl from other states. Starting or in some cases TRYING to start sexual convos with guys she just met. Referring to her self as a Fng b****, says she loves to date a different guy a week. Tells strangers ( young guys her age) that she " screwed herself with a sharpie marker". She has also set up facebook accounts posing to be someone else and acting wild. She has just totally wild!!!!!
I have tried to talk to her father about some things that they ler her do at his house that I feel may have some influenece on her behavior, like watching r rated movies. listening to risque music etc.. They just says ok, but them let her do it anyway b/c they do. They are big into tattoo/ motorcycle horror films, and so I understand why they dont see on views on such. But I just dont know what to do about it all. I have made an appt. for a therapist but im afraid of medicating her b/c of the side effects and such and I have a 4 year old DD and a son due in Jan 2012. Also. when she started seeing her dad again, I and her stepmom both feel she looks to her dad as a boyfriend type and not a father. She hangs on him, sits in his lap tries to get close to his face and breathes heavly, physically gets in between him and his wife. Shows jealously of her stepmom and sister whose 17. When ever i ask her about her behavior she always says I dunno. But shoes no remorse whatsoever. Im afraid she is gonna get more worse and turn into a sexual predador or something.