My boyfriend has 2 daughters

jordanapapa85October 5, 2013

I am 28 years old and my boyfriend is 31. We live in Germany. We are both highly educated, doing our first career steps. He has 2 kids with his ex (they weren't married) and I don't know if I should keep going. I'm afraid of his financial obligations to his children. What if we go serious and we can't have children because he can't afford it? What if we have a child but we can't provide what is needed because he spends all his money on the other children? (German system is very harsh with financial obligation of the father.)

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emma

No one can really tell you what to do. From my life experience I would not marry him. There are a lot of opinions and experiences in here so read them.

I read that the number one cause of failure in the first marriages is money.

The number two cause is children. I am assuming that is in second marriages. It's not easy.

    Bookmark   October 5, 2013 at 7:16PM
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colleenoz

Well, presumably your boyfriend is aware of his financial obligations and how much income he has left after meeting those obligations. Surely you can work out a budget to decide if you can comfortably raise your own family or not.
(And good on the German system for compelling parents to financially support the children they bring into the world.)

    Bookmark   October 6, 2013 at 10:16AM
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sylviatexas1

You need to have a budget meeting with your boyfriend, & maybe a pre-nup meeting with an attorney.

You need to know if you'll be happy living with whatever financial situation he brings to the table, & you need to know if the courts consider a wife's income as a factor in assessing a father's child support.

I wish you the best.

    Bookmark   October 7, 2013 at 4:21PM
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