My 18 year old step son is ruining my marriage
My husband and I have been married for just over a year. Together for 2 years. Together we have 5 children. 2 still at home. My 16 year old SS lived with us from the beginning. I thought he was great. Very charming, helpful. I have since learned his manipulative ways. They moved into our home. For the first time in his life he had his own room! We got him a new bed, bedding, my kids donated furniture from their rooms to get him set up. I bought all of his clothes, school supplies, gave him spending money. Treated him as my own, from day one. I even drove him to school 45 minutes away EVERY DAY so that he could finish his Junior year and not have to switch mid year. Took him to the doctor, dentist. When he started his senior year I went toe to toe with the basketball coach to give him a chance because they had already had try-outs. At x-mas money was tight, he wanted a $200.00 Ipod Touch. I went two weeks without getting my truck fixed so that we could get it for him. I had to scrounge rides to work! The day after x-mas he went to his Moms for a week, and didn't come back. He hugged us good-bye, promised my 12 year old son he would be back for his birthday (Dec 31) and we didn't see him again until July! He said some really nasty things about us to family members on Facebook. Told them we kicked him out! Said he was glad to be with people who "love him". Had his buddies at the school he had shared with my 16 year old daughter bully her in school. We were shocked, even his teachers said he used to go on about how happy he was! In July he sends me a long e-mail apologizing, telling me his mother and her boyfriend had put a lot in his head and he wanted to come back. We agreed thinking everyone deserves a second chance. We had since moved. I gave up my home office to give him a bedroom, got him enrolled in the local community college,paid for everything, found him a job and co-signed with my husband on a brand new car that SS was supposed to make the payments and pay insurance on. 3 months later SS turned 18 and all hell broke loose! Staying out all hours of the night, lying, treating my children like they were beneath him, ignored my requests for any help around the house...He left one week-end and didn't come home, or make his car payment. Texted us in the middle of the night Saturday night and told us that he was moving out and that if we called he would change his number and if we showed up at his job he would call the police! We did neither. He came to the house on Sunday afternooon with his 16 year old girlfriend, her mother and the POLICE to get his personal belongings (most of which I paid for!) heaven only knows what he told them! I made it very clear the car stays with us, the police officer agreed. I also confiscated the laptop I had just bought him for school. We were in shock! Even the police officer told him he was screwing up! There was no blow-up, nothing! Now he tells people we kicked him out, AGAIN! He will say or do anything to get attention. He has his girlfriends entire family wrapped around his little finger. I am DONE. My husband was sngry at first but now (a month later) his son is wiggling his way back in. His first wife walked all over him for 20 years and his son learned from the best. I am no doormat. I gave it 100%. As far as I am concerned he is grown and that is that. My husband and I argue about it everyday now. He says I need to learn to forgive. I say he can see his son and have a relationship, I will not interfere but he is NOT allowed in my home or near my children. I have watched my husband cry over this selfish brat time and time again. I want to support my husband but it just isn't fair to my own children, or even me! How do you know when enough is enough?