I despise my stepchild...what do I do?
I feel horrible for even saying that but I can't help myself. I don't know what to do. My stomach is in knots and I feel sick to my stomach today because I know it is Thursday and I have to get him from school and put up with him until Monday morning. It wasn't like this when my husband and I first got together. His son acted like he liked me. He would hug me...and then after his dad and I got married things changed. I feel so left out here. My step treats me like crap. Disrespectful, ignores me, don't speak to me. At first, I tried to be a stepmom but after a while I gave up. I feel like what is the point. My husband is mostly the blame. He does not set any rules for his son...he never gets disciplined...never has to do chores...he gets whatever his heart desires. If I even act like I am mad at the step for something he did that is wrong, my husband yells at me and acts like I am the one who did something wrong. I am scared to even say anything to his son...I hardly speak to him in fear my husband will get mad and treat me bad. I feel like a void here when the step is here. I can only wish my husband would even care about me half as much as he does his child. Once when we were having an agrument over the step, he told me the only reason he married me was for his son...what is that supposed to mean? I just hate my life...I absolutely hate it! The only time I am happy is when the step is not here. My family tells me to just leave and come back home but I love my husband...I do...I just feel like I can't take hiding my true feelings about his son anymore. I just want to scream I can't stand your son or how you treat him and leave. Please don't think of me as someone who hates children. I love children. Every other child I have ever had anything to do with falls in love with me. I just don't understand his son. He is so mean and my husband and every one else thinks he is an angel. He ignores my husband and mom-in-law when they speak to him and they think it is funny. I don't find it funny. I think it is very disrespectful. But I just keep my mouth shut. Or my husband yells at me. His son acts like I am his litle maid when he gets home from school...turn on cartoons!...fix me a sandwich!...I want this, I want that. All I want him to do is ask me and tell me thank you but he won't. and my husband doesn't enforce that. there are so many things that bother me and I know I probably sound like a crazy person, but what do I do. It has gotten to the point now, that I am completely depressed when the step is here, I cry all day Thursday because I know it is the start of him being here for the weekend, and now I get sick to my stomach. What do I do? I sometimes wish I would just have a nervous breakdown just so I could leave here for a while.