need help with maliscious step daughter

designerkathleneOctober 15, 2009

My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years. I have 3 children and he has two. I gave his kids everything of myself and more. The oldest one started being abusive towards me, putting bleach in my contacts lense container, trying to poison me and the list goes on. My husband totally ignored it and wouldn't believe me until her friend told my husband. He still didn't do anything until she bashed me upside the head, then he kicked her out. Then that left his youngest daughter 15 she tries everything to get between us and cause problems. She has stolen my much needed meds., broken my things on purpose, been disrespectful towards me, said things and done things that include her father and mother in front of me. The list goes on and on. She made it knowen she doesn't want me here and wants her dad and mom together. I hate his kids with a passion. My husband doesn't understand why I feel this way and doesn't do anything about it and instead gets angry with me and starts a fight. I suffer from anxiety every time she is going to come over. I have to hide everything I own. I have begun to dislike him because of this and can't live like this any more. I am in counseling all she says is ignore her. My husband is rude to my daughter and she hasn't done anything. I discipline my kids and he doesn't. My kids would never dream of doing the things his kids have to him that they have done to me. This is tearing us apart and me. I have talked to her before and it doesn't help. Help!

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boodledoo offense but are you for real? This seems like an extreme situation and if what you have said is true it would take an extremely ignorant man to not understand why you don't like these kids. Sounds a little out there if you know what I mean. If the oldest was older than the 15 year old why weren't charges pressed for the attacks? Just a little fishy is all I'm saying.....

    Bookmark   October 15, 2009 at 1:05PM
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I'm not 'buying' the being told 'ignore her' either.

Lady, if your 'life' is indeed for real, do yourself a favor and get a divorce. Bleach, poison, stealing 'much needed drugs'....ya might wanna check to see if the husband has taken out a life insurance policy on you recently.

    Bookmark   October 15, 2009 at 1:37PM
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This is really bad! You need to leave your husband. I rarely advocate divorce, but your life is in danger! You need to get out!

And get a different counselor!

    Bookmark   October 15, 2009 at 3:37PM
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I believe you are "for real" and I want you to know that. When I came here people said that to me too. I think it is impolite.

I know what it is to fear your stepchildren. My partner has a grown son who is really scary and doesn't like me.

If you were honest with your counselor and she isn't helping you, find another one. There are more bad ones than good ones, keep looking until you are satisfied.

If your husband does not care about the horrible things SD has done to you, see if he is interested in counseling before you divorce him. We all have baggage, and his might be hers as well.

Meanwhile be careful!!

    Bookmark   October 15, 2009 at 4:28PM
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I believe you too. Please be very careful until you can safely leave. Sometimes things that sound so far out & so bizarre are for real.sometimes I think about all the times dh said it would have been easier to off the ex & serve his time and I wonder, could he\would he with me or am I just being paranoid?
Take care & get to safety asap.

    Bookmark   October 15, 2009 at 10:25PM
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Why haven't we heard back from this chick? I still want to know why charges weren't pressed when the 15 year old violently attacked her????

    Bookmark   October 16, 2009 at 10:53AM
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why weren't charges pressed? tried to poison, wacked you on the head? i have hard time believing it. nothing was done about it?

    Bookmark   October 17, 2009 at 1:03PM
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I wrote a comment back on here and it isn't posting. I am for real and I just want some advice besides getting divorced. I think he has a hard time believing his kids can be so evil especially the younger one because they are HIS kids. We have been to counseling and the counselor told him to kick out the older one. We haven't been to counseling about the younger one. I detest her and I fill up with anxiety when she has to come over. He wont listen to me and is very close to the younger one. She is doing everything she can to get me to leave or have her dad kick me out. I am at my wits end I need some advice please!!!

    Bookmark   November 2, 2009 at 4:41PM
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Kathlene, why would you want to stay in this situation? The kid hates you, DH could care less if or when he even believes you and you're a stressed out mess.

Exactly what do you get out of this relationship? Okay, you don't want a divorce. So what do you want?

Fine, you want some advice, take both your husband and your SD to counseling and drop them off. Refuse to pick them back up until counselor makes them both understand it is not okay to terrorize or allow terrorizing other people.

What else can I say? You say you believe these kids are trying to do you in and now you want us to have understanding because , to quote you, "they are HIS kids". What part of 'this is not normal behavior' does he seem to be having a hard time believing? Poisoning you? Stealing your pills? Bashing you in the head?

    Bookmark   November 2, 2009 at 5:04PM
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What will be the straw that breaks your back? I mean before the kids do that is??

If it were your hubby doing all those things what would you do?

If it were your neighbor down the road?

Your own mother

Good luck with "his" kids.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2009 at 5:29PM
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Thank you for your honesty. I have been divorced 3 times due to them cheating and being physically abusive I don't want to go through another divorce and I am on disability and get little in social security I can't take care of myself financially nor am I able to drive. I am stuck. So I need to make the best out of a bad situation. I love him but my feelings for him have changed due to him and his kids. I just keep telling myself that I just need to put up with it for 4 more years and she will be gone. I just don't know how to handle the four years. He told me last night he understands my feelings and to just ignore her. I don't know how. She needs to be dealt with and he from what I have seen doesn't deal with his childrens behaviors. I have a warrant out for arrest on his oldest daughter who is 18 now and nothing has been done that I know of. She did apologize for everything she had done but I still hate her and don't want anything to do with her or want her over here. How can someone screw up your only two kids? I would like to know what my husband would do if my kids treated him the way his kids treat me. Could he just ignore it? I have asked him this question and he said he can't answer it.
Thanks for your help.

    Bookmark   November 3, 2009 at 11:05AM
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kathlene, I'm not sure how real all of this or is not but if you don't get out whatever diability will be worse since the girl is trying to hurt you. Look in the mirror, do you need HIM that badly? That's what it's coming down to here. Don't forget, he's looking in the mirror and saying to himself, Kathlene has X disability, I can do what I want or not, let my kids do what they want or not, and what will/can she do? Sounds so far like nothing and he and these criminal kids know that.

4th husband with the last 3 abusive? Dear, that's the thing to start talking to a counselor about. I'm not sure how much is this is a stepmother problem vs. abusive marriage problem.

    Bookmark   November 3, 2009 at 12:50PM
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I blame him for allowing his kids to do what they have done, therefor I resent him and dislike him to a degree. The one that physically abused me no longer is in the home I had pressed charges and she is not allowed to be here. The 15 year old visits here during the week and on weekends. She breaks my things on purpose some valuable, stole my meds, said she doesn't want me here, acts disrespectful, tries to get her dad mad at me and so we will fight, doesn't want him to show me any positive attention, is gothic, thinks she is bi, loves it when someone gets brutely hurt. SHe is very dark. I hate her so much!

    Bookmark   November 3, 2009 at 2:34PM
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