What have I done Wrong???
I'm gonna try and make a long story short... I have been married to my husband almost 7yrs. He has 3 grown daughters 27,25,23. I have 2 sons 18,14. When I met him his then 17 yr old(now 23) was pregnant. She has since then had 3 more children. Thats 4 kids, with 4 possible fathers. She has been living off and on for the last few years with on of the father's. She leaves him for someone else she gets pregnant and then runs back to him. She had her youngest in May of this year, and had her tubes tied. We have done everything in our power to help this girl. She lived with us when she had 2 kids and was a major pain in the butt. She had to move out, because it was way to much to have to deal with. We also have had the oldest child living with us for about a year. The SD gets mad and takes the kids away.
For some stupid reason me and the husband decided we would try and help her out again. We helped her get an apartment, near us so she could get a job and we would watch the kids. My husband is retired early due to medical issues. (kidney cancer). He loves his grandkids and wanted to have them near him. They are on the bus route and the oldest could get off the bus at our house in the afternoon, it was a great set up. She had a month to find a job all her bills were paid, and we knew we may need to help her for a few months till she found a job and started making money. That was just way to easy for her.....
She was there for 3 months would not get a job. Would have multiple men staying with her and the kids would be witness to all this. We also told her that if she need some adult time to at least send us the 2 older kids(girls) 6&4, they did not need to see mom doing the things she does. The 2 younger ones don't need to be around during her little issues, but they are 23 months and 5 months. They will not understand what they are seeing right now.
We also gave her a cell phone to use and to have at night in case there was a problem. She ran the cell bill up over $300, used all our min. that we normaly share with 4 people and do not go over (1500 min). We have had to pay over $400 in electric bills, and of course the $1000 to get her in to the apt.
She claims to be bipolar, and due to my husbands illness he sees a Psycologist. Because it is a terminal illness he can take in people that he is worried about and deal with the issues they have so he can have some peace. We all went with her for support (me, her dad and mom). They put her on Depakote, made a list of things she should not do such has having men around. She just need to take care of her kids, find a job and stay away from the men. If she did not follow through with the rules then all the all financial support ended. It took her a day and she was back doing what ever she wanted to and wanting us to foot the bill. Which my husband had paid her rent, I stoped payment on the check. By this time we had the 2 older kids living with us, sending the 6yr old to school and the 4yr old to preschool. She sold food stamps to pay her rent.
At the end of Sept. we told her she needed to get the lights in her name that we could no longer help her out with bills. She never did it and the day before the last day of the month the lights were turned off. This was also after she sat in my drive way screaming and cusing at me and my husband and said F you to him. She told us we would never see the kids again and left with them. This was on a Fri. Monday me and the hubby had been out doing a few things and just so happend to be back home by 4pm and here comes the 6yr old walking from the bus stop, and mom was no where to be found. She showed up 45 min. late, the 4yr old was not in preschool, she couldnt do it on her own. So we took the girls back again. We find out from the kids that after she left our house she went home and called the police on me and her dad, who has a terminal illness???? There was no police report taken and they never came to my house. Through out the week she had tried everything she could to get her Father to pay her rent and lights for Oct. and finally she said well fine I will just move and take the girls with me. My husband didn't give in at that time, but it was close. I told him he needed to call her bluff, and tell her thats fine they are you kids you are 23 raise them. (she is staying with her sister right now so we knew they would be ok). By Monday the 5th we were getting calls becasue the 6yr old had not been to school, and the SD's landlord was sitting her stuff out in the yard. Me and my husband did go and get as much of the kids stuff and anything worth anything. It was not out in the yard. Then the SD ask if we would take the girls back again. For the kids I agreed again. We went to the other SD's to pick the 6yr old up and one of the other Grandkids ask me why I turned off SD's lights.... We get home and the 6yr. old says you turned off Mom's cable, and that I was mean to mom, so now I am sitting her justifing my actions to a 6yr old who does not understand only belives that her mother has done no wrong and everyone is out to get her Mom.
If someone can please tell me Was I Wrong???
So sorry this is so long :(