His children don't come over so he wants mine out of the picture

coibl23October 6, 2013

I have known my husband for 16 years prior to our marriage. He has two children and I have two adult children. His son was coming over until the point of his mother moving in with her boyfriend. He doesn�t see his daughter at all. Both she and his ex would send him text messages saying awful things to him. I asked the ex to stop with the drama and the daughter finally stopped also. The daughter who is now 19 and lives states away has a baby and lives with a controlling boyfriend and his son now 16 has seen his father twice in a year. He came over Christmas and after his birthday when he received his permit. We told him at that time if you are coming over just to get the car that my husband has you are not getting it because you have not seen your father in seven months nor spoke to him. Needless to say we have not heard from him since then. This is how they punish their father.

I feel that every time something happens with his son my husband feels that he wants my son gone also. Grant it that my son is an adult but he lived with me before hand and I am going to give him time to get himself together and move out on his own. My children are not at all like his they appreciate the small things and would do anything for me and I for them. But his kids and ex only have used him and have taken everything that they could and will continue to if he lets them.

Now I am finding it so hard to deal with the fact that my husband seems to be trying to divide my children from me. I know it sounds crazy but that is how I am seeing it. I find that this is heart breaking and is tearing us apart. He feels that I don�t care about his feelings and I feel that he is being a brat. If his son were here none of this would be happening, that I know I�ve been there before with him.

My son and his girlfriend are looking to get a place together although that is not his first choice, but he sees the difference in my husband. And my son has said once I leave, I will never come back here. And I on the other hand think about leaving the marriage although I love my husband. Needless to say, this should please the ex and kids.

Oh and did I say the ex left him for his best friend and the kids knew about it the entire time. Of course she told my husband that he was delirious�����

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Amber3902

The title of your post says âÂÂhis children donâÂÂt come over so he wants mine out of the pictureâÂÂ, but I just donâÂÂt see anything in your post that supports this statement.

I donâÂÂt think just because your DHâÂÂs children donâÂÂt want to see him that that is making your DH want your children âÂÂout of the picture.â I donâÂÂt see how the two issues are related.

Your son is an adult. The only reason an adult child should still be living with their parents is due to financial hardship. And that situation should be temporary, not an indefinite amount of time.

Just based on what information you gave, I donâÂÂt see how your husband is trying to divide you from your children. You feel your DH is trying to tear you apart from your children, but could it be your DHâÂÂs issue is that your grown son is still living in the home?

And what does DH's ex affair have to do with anything?

Have you sat down with DH and told him your concerns?

    Bookmark   October 7, 2013 at 9:21AM
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shakti2574

your son is an adult and you are going to give him time get things together. That statement seems contradictory because adulthood implies that one is fully capable of making life decisions, take responsiblity on one's own two feet.

I don't think your husband is trying to separate you from your children. He perhaps simply is expecting a GROWN UP man/woman to be on their own .

    Bookmark   October 9, 2013 at 2:56AM
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