OMG enough with the dress!
I never could have guessed it would be such a hot topic!
Please don't fight with each other over it anymore.
"The question you posed was "How do I encourage her to stand up for herself?" My answer is: Dont rescue her. Tell her that she needs to communicate her likes and dislikes, and if she isnÂt happy with something to speak up. A wise person once said, you may get disappointed, but if you never ask a girl to dance, youÂll never get to dance. Basically, if you donÂt say "I donÂt prefer that, can we keep looking" you will go to the dance in a dress you donÂt prefer. I will not rescue you. I love you, and I want you to be pretty, but being able to communicate effectively is more important in the long run. Going to the dance in a pretty dress may make her feel pretty, but will not help her being "socially stunted" issue in the future. Learning to communicate clearly with those who love her best is a good way to enable social ease and confidence."
Thank you, very well said, and I'm satisfied with this as a solution.
*just to clarify* by socially stunted, I meant because she has always preferred to have her nose in a book than to go outside and play or be with friends. She just loves to read.
I understand this is a public forum and I do value the different points of view. I also accept it is difficult to gain a lot on a situation unless OP writes a novel of background or posts here often. I've just gotta say I am a little taken back by the jump to call lawyers...Our divorce happened 10 years ago, and we've been (for the most part) sucessfully coparenting the entire time. I can't imagine involving a lawyer over petty disputes, heck, I even handled our last child support modification myself w/o a lawyer. Does this really happen?
I am both a BM and a SM so it's hard for me to jump on the bash the SM wagon. Yes, my particular SM has done some things I haven't appreciated, and she's not someone I would chose as a friend of mine, BUT my EX chose her as his wife and as a SM for our daughter....let me say I know it could be so much worse! I knew when DD was 3 years old I'd have to share her, and have always considered her lucky to have so many people who love her.