I've been living with my bf for couple of years. He got 2 kids a boy(13) and a girl(12). His ex is totally crazy, and I honestly don't understand why he ever married her. Anyway, after reading through this forum it seems that I am not the only one dealing with crazy BMs.
Seems that the common things for crazy BMs especially my bf's ex are:
- totally messy house (seriously her house is filled it piles of crap and dirt)
- BM doesn't work and lives from child support (she claims she is a student, which would be OK if she weren't saying that to everybody for already 10 years, with a note that next year she will get a degree. Never happened.)
- kids wear dirty, stinky, small clothes (any nice fitting clothes kids wear back to their BM's house never comes back, her house is a total black hole. Not surprising considering point 1)
- BM doesn't support any after school activities (not even play dates, or sleep overs, she keeps kids at home watching TV and play PC games. I asked what they were during the last spring brake and they said: playing PC games, eating and sleeping!!!)
- BM feeds kids with junk food (the sample of their lunch: plain pasta, or jelly sandwich, gummy worms, chocolate, coke. She even tells them that drinking dark soda is good for them because it contains caffeine!!)
- there is no routine, no rules at her house. (Kids can basically do anything they want, and they know exactly what buttons to push to get what they want from her. Kids just don't function well at her house, refuse to do HW, refuse to shower, refuse to do anything. Her response to this is, that they have mental issues!!! She literally drags kids to psychiatrists to diagnose them with something to prove that it is not her fault. When we say that kids function at our house without any problems, she comes up with a "theory" that kids are afraid of us so they obey what we tell them!)
Oh my, I can go on and on, very frustrating.... not to mention alienation BM does, which makes me very angry.
Poor kids, I wonder how they turn out. We try our best to teach them the right things but it is hopeless when they come back from BM brainwashed.