Should I say anything??
Long story short I have neighbors who I get along with well and are quite a bit older than me and, dh. They have lots of kids, most of whom are grown and out of the house. They do have a few kids left at home who are in middle school and high school. Ds hangs out with them. But my neighbors are VERY strict and their kids don't really go anywhere or have friends inside their home. DS hangs outside with them playing sports or has the younger son in our home.
Last week the husband came over to tell dh that his wife was upset with ds, but was uncomfortable telling us so he felt he should. Seems ds was acting up when in their driveway. From our house we can not see their driveway because their house blocks the view. So we did not see how ds was behaving. He was hanging on their basketball hoop (when walking over there I have seen their kids doing it as well). He also was hanging out in their driveway when their kids were not outside. I had thought when ds was there the kids were out with him, but I found out that lately he was sitting outside their home waiting for them. He also was yelling to the kids inside their home. And their younger son said ds was teasing him at school.
We talked to him about it all and grounded him for almost a week. We made him apologize to the neighbors. DS admitted his wrongdoing in waiting in their driveway when the kids were not outside and in yelling to them from outside their home. He admitted to jumping up and hanging on the basketball hoop. He said that he never teases the boy at school though, he only makes comments back to the boy when he says things to him. DS said he talked to the boy at school and said he was mad he told his parents that he was teasing him and the boy and him made up.
Today ds was ungrounded and playing basketball with the neighbors. He came home upset saying that the boys older brother said his mom heard yelling when they were playing and that the boys blamed him. He says he was not yelling and that the neighbor boys were swearing and yelling, not him. He also said that they are afraid of getting in trouble so they just blame everything on him.
I told ds that he has the choice of not playing with them. They came over to ask him to come hang out today. I told him next time he should say no and tell them he does not like being blamed for things.
Part of me wants to have him go hang out with them tomorrow so I can hang out outside, where they don't see me and listen. Then I could go tell their mom whats going on instead of her thinking it is all my son. Today when I walked over to check on them I saw the one son yelling into the other neighbors window talking to the kid and also saw him climb up on the side of the neighbors house to talk to the kid.
DH says I should not say anything and should let ds handle it. He says if neighbors come talk to me I can then tell them what I know. I don't want them to think that ds is doing things he isn't though. What do you think?
I do like the neighbors and their kids and don't want to start an argument. I just don't want them thinking that ds is a big trouble maker while their kids are the ones doing things too.