Never surprised by stupid things she says

mom2emallSeptember 11, 2010

BM calls today after the kids talked to their grandparents. Was sd's b-day today. Not even 20 min after talking to the grandparents bm calls sd to wish her a happy bday and talk about homecoming dance. Then bm asks to talk to me and tells me she has no idea what to get sd for her bday and wants to take her shopping.....then says is she busy today?

Ummmm....its her bday....of COURSE she is busy! DUH! But I just said yes she is busy politely. BM says she would have called in advance but she did not know if her bf was going to be off work. (I guess sd getting a bday present can only happen if bf is off work? lol impossible to get together before sd's bday to get a present I guess??) Then I tell bm that on Tues afterschool sd does not have any activities and bm can take her shopping then if she wants to. Then she tells me it has to be a weekend day because she wants to have a party for sd too so sd does not feel gyped out of a bday party! I was thinking bm has not even acknowledged sd's bday with so much as a phone call some years! She has not had any kind of party to celebrate and of the kids bdays since her and dh were married! But whatever I did not even argue with the charade of bm pretending she is a good mom. And BM already knows that sd had a party with her friends last weekend and I told her we were having family over today.

So I give her the kids schedule of events for the next few weekends. Most days at least one of my skids has something going on with activities and/or friends. BM wants all 3 of them at the same time for this big party she wants to have. So we settle on a Sunday that is open. Will be interesting to see if bm loses interest in this big party idea by then! And I find it wierd that she can't take sd shopping on a weekday afterschool. Whatever!

Then bm goes on and on about their new house (a rental) and their new dog. Bla bla bla. I think to myself this lady is on state aid...and committing fraud to get more money by claiming my skids live with her and then she thinks she should buy a dog?? Correct me if I am wrong, but if you need the state to pay for your groceries, health insurance, etc. how can you afford dog food and vet visits??

I know this scenerio though. BM gets a place for her, bf, and their kids to live. She talks about how great it is. She gets all kinds of new things. She gets pets. Then a few months later they are moving again and no more pets. They always get in over their heads. DH says bm can't manage money or hold onto it. It burns holes in her pockets. I am assuming her bf is the same way.

But in the spirit of peace I just held my tongue and acted pleasant. After hanging up I just laughed in private with DH about all the nonsense. BM does not surprise us anymore, her stupidity has become predictable.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
mattie_gt

BM would have called in advance except she forgot it was her daughter's birthday until her parents called to remind her.

That's nice, that BM is going to have a birthday party in her big new house, with all the new pets, and everything's going to be different this time - really it is! I wonder if anyone believes that except her?

The pet thing gets me. SS' BM does the same thing. (And how you pay for the vet is - you don't. They just don't go. Ever.) It makes me furious because all of these pets that are taken in as cute little puppies or kitties, ignored and neglected until they're older, no longer cute, unhousebroken and/or half-feral, whereupon the lucky ones are dumped off at a shelter. At that time no doubt most of them are destroyed because it's difficult to find homes for older animals under the best of circumstances. The unlucky ones don't even get that chance because they just "run off". The selfishness of it disgusts me.

    Bookmark   September 12, 2010 at 1:59PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
lovehadley

UGH. I don't get it, either, I really don't. :(

What do you SKs think about this upcoming *party?* I'm sure they get sick of her tired excuses.

"Correct me if I am wrong, but if you need the state to pay for your groceries, health insurance, etc. how can you afford dog food and vet visits??"

It doesn't make a whole h*ll of a lot of sense, does it?

BM actually told DH not long ago---when she was pregnant---that she is a SAHM by choice and they're "doing fine financially." Ummmmm...last time I checked, being on state medical insurance, food stamps and cash benefits did NOT equate to *doing fine.*

    Bookmark   September 12, 2010 at 11:14PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
mom2emall

Mattie I have no clue what bm has done with her past dogs and cats she gets everytime her and her bf get their own place. I do feel sorry for those pets though. I almost think that people should go through some kind of adoption process when getting a pet! Too many people do not have stable living situations or the money to properly take care of pets but they get them anyways. Then they ruin that pets life just like you said.

LH the kids don't know what to think about the party. Older sd just rolls her eyes at bm's promises, middle sd has times where she does the same and other times she gets excited and then let down. SS is going through the believe all bm says and then get let down phase. It is sad to see, but we can't shelter them from it all unfortunately.

The welfare system makes me so mad! I really think that if you need welfare then you should have some guidelines to follow such as:
-no pets
-no brand new vehicles
-monthly drug testing
-a time limit on being on welfare

It really makes me mad when I see people on welfare walking around in their brand name clothes, with their highlighted hair and carrying Coach purses. I just want to grab their link card out of their hand and tell them they could pay for their groceries if they stopped spending their money on the extras in life.

Sometimes I wish I could just sit outside bm's places as she moves and leaves behind all kinds of new items they can't bring with them. Moving from state to state all the time I know they don't bring everything with. Such a waste!

    Bookmark   September 13, 2010 at 11:40AM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Marrying Widower with Adult Children
Somebody help me, please! I am about to marry a widower...
sweet3643
My SO suggested that I share a bed with his 11 year-old son!
For the last 3 years, I've been in a relationship with...
anarana
7 year old step son troubles please help
Hello everyone, I need some advise please. I have been...
Nikki27
If I could tell mothers of adult stepchildren anything, Part 2
It seems my five-year-old topic has reached its limit...
lilysuzanne40
if I could tell stepmothers of adult children anything
My dad remarried last year, a year after my mother...
lilysuzanne40
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™