young step moms? crazy baby mama drama? ME TOO!

junjunradicalSeptember 5, 2010

My boyfriend's son is a gorgeous 21-month-old with an absolutely insane mother, who I just save all of my wishes for him to turn out nothing like.

I am twenty years old, and have never read anyone else's story like my own, but I KNOW there has to be others out there in my same situation...If you relate, or are just interested in the subject, I will likely be interested in your story as well, take a stop by my blog.

http://underagedenraged.blogspot.com/

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catlettuce

Mmmm, well I think referring to your BF's ex/mother of his child as an Evil witch making up a website about it does confirm your young age.

It's hard to believe a 20 yr old would even stay around for this but if you do; Gird your loins, it's going to be a long & bumpy ride.

I certainly hope you do not refer to this childs mother this way in front of him & my advice to you would be to back off, let your boyfriend handle the details with BM. You are not even married to this guy and have emeshed yourself into this mess that's really none of your beeswax. Sorry, think you should change your phone number, stay out of it.

Actually think you should go focus on school, and enjoying being young rather than hooking up with a guy that's already got a kid & Ex to deal with. Good grief, you should out traveling, learning, maturing and seeing the world. Not saddled down with someone elses baby (whom it seems you intensely dislike) all for some guy? Come on! Plenty more where that came from.

What does he have to offer you? And don't say " but He loves me!" or "I love him". That only goes so far, trust me.

You are only young once!!

Best of luck,
~Cat

    Bookmark   September 6, 2010 at 12:01PM
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sweeby

You know, I don't think there's a woman over 30 on this site who would disagree with Catlettuce on this...

Why?
- Because we don't want you to have any fun? (Absolutely not. We want you to have fun - lots of it.)
- Because we don't think you're mature enough to handle it? (Maybe - can't say. I've seen some *really good* young mothers.)
- Because we are across the board against step-families? (Heck no! We're here...)
- Because you're very young and inexperienced? (Probably. Different from being immature, which we're not saying.)
- Because BioMom sounds like a psycho? (Yes. Absolutely. BIG problem. One YOU can't solve because YOU are not the problem...)

But the MAIN reason is that by becomming deeply involved in this, you're signing up for a lifetime (OK - 20 years) of trouble. Deep, painful, nasty, possibly dangerous trouble. A just-out-of-his-teens father to a baby (no matter how sweet) with a psycho BioMom brings a LOT of baggage to the table.

I know you love him --
I know he's wonderful --

But at your age, there are LOTS of wonderful guys out there with NO baggage! NO baggage! Guys with college degrees, promising careers and no psychos in their closets. There's college (if you want it) and a promising career for you too so long as you don't limit your options by tying yourself down to some other woman's baby.

You KNOW all the warnings about becoming a teen mother... How it limits your economic future, your career horizons, your marriage prospects. You were smart enough to avoid those pitfalls --

So why VOLUNTEER for them now?

    Bookmark   September 6, 2010 at 6:03PM
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imamommy

When I read this post, it happened to be on the same day I read a post written by my 24 year old niece on facebook.

My niece married at 19 (IMO, on the rebound from her HS sweetheart ~ she became pregnant from Mr. Rebound & they got married... he was 18) Everyone told her about the red flags & warnings but she ignored them all, saying she was not a child, she was capable of making good decisions in her life. The marriage had some problems in the second year & they split up. Then reconciled & she had baby #2 about 8-9 months later. That child is now 2 and they have filed for divorce. Not sure why they didn't make it but from an outsider's perspective... he was too young/immature & she thought she knew it all & could have it all 'because she WANTED it', I think she had baby #2 in an effort to turn him into the family man she wanted. It didn't work.

Well, she has had a new boyfriend... almost from day 1 of the breakup... she likes to post pictures of her boyfriend & her in suggestive poses. She has posted pictures of her boyfriend, cuddling with the kids watching TV. She writes a bunch of stuff that appears she is trying to make her ex jealous. I have no idea if it's working.. BUT:

The other day, he came to pick up his kids & his new girlfriend came with him. My niece went off on her (on FB) about how dare she come with him and pretty much issued an open threat... IMO, it was a very immature reaction after all the stuff she has put out there with her new boyfriend... another one of those "I can do it, but if you do it all hell will break loose"

My point, this is what I see young people doing (being very immature, making decisions without thinking of consequences) and this is the kind of immature reactions that some young people have. I would hope my niece grows up & realizes that just because things didn't work out with him (and admit they were BOTH immature & it's not all his fault) Funny thing is, she acts as if they are being mature with each other... but this was before he found a girlfriend.

Why anyone would WANT to get in the middle of that kind of drama is beyond me.

    Bookmark   September 6, 2010 at 11:18PM
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