I walked into my first stress management class last week. My therapist suggested I take it after her first session with me & signed me up. My first thought was that she's crazy, I don't need stress management, I just need advice on how to disengage COMPLETELY from SD & not let her presence (attitude/the tension when we are around each other) bother me. Of course, I thought if she would just go live with her mom, MY life would be peaceful again.
So I went to the class. I sat in a room full of strangers describing the things that stress people out.
Work... yeah, at least people that are stressed out over work have a job, right? Of course, I work 7 days a week, 10 hours a day plus some nights. It IS stressful but not a lot I can do about it. I am self employed & need to be there. Can't afford to hire more people...
Finances... well yeah, money is tight EVERYWHERE. My customers aren't spending much & trying to get more for less money all the time. At least once a day, I am asked if someone can have a discount or a deal... just because they want a nicer wedding on a shoestring budget. When my customers are so cash strapped, obviously my revenue goes down too... people are cutting back. But living expenses are the same & there is some resentment that stresses me out because BM does not support her daughter & we both work our fingers to the bone to provide for her ungratefulness... and she's getting more expensive as she gets older.
Family ~ Yep... ding ding ding. I knew this one was a big one for me. I hadn't thought of the last two issues as being very stressful to me but this one... first, we have SD & I what can I say that everyone hasn't heard (at least) ten times before? Then dealing with BM & Grandma. And the OTHER Grandma (MIL) and a husband that doesn't like confrontation unless it's with my adult kids... because THEY should be contributing more financially if they are still going to live at home. (I agree with him on that, BUT I also think he should be equally aggressive in going after BM for the money she owes.... and lately, he has) Then add in my adult son moving back home a couple of months ago because his roommate got involved with gang activity & brought it around him, so he moved back with us. And as much as I love DGS2, my whole life has been rearranged to be his "parent". I'm disappointed in both of his parents... his mom hardly sees him & his dad (my son) does not call often. They both have a lot of growing up to do. This month, it will be a year that I have been his legal guardian. I wonder if either one of them will ever pull it together to take over "parenting" so I can just be "grandma". The uncertainty of that situation is somewhat stressful too.
Health Problems ~ Hadn't given it much thought but I'm anemic, which makes me tire easily. I've got a thyroid disorder, which also causes fatigue. The long hours at work doesn't help the fatigue. I'm back drinking coffee to get going in the morning. And the reason I went to the doctor in the first place... that landed me in counseling... heartburn. Only, it isn't really heartburn. It was a debilitating pain in my gut that lasted for almost two weeks. Everyday, I would start to eat & the pain came on... I couldn't eat & nothing helped the pain. My therapist said it is from STRESS. It started the week before SD was to come back from Summer at her mom's.
So, I am trying to figure out how to manage the stress in my life. I did sign up for the full 8 week course but it doesn't start until October. DH & I are supposed to take a trip next weekend to a National Park. We'll be gone 3 days but even that has me stressed out because we are leaving my daughter in charge of the business by herself for the first time... and everyone getting married has decided that 9/10/11 is the date to marry this year... which makes it one of our busiest weekends. Any ideas? or Valium?