Will his kids be enough?
I'm new here. I've been lurking in Kitchens for awhile and just noticed this forum. My life has changed significantly this year and as it turns out finding you guys couldn't have come at a better time.
I met someone wonderful at the start of the year. He has two young sons and was separated when we met. His divorce will be final any day now.
I am 37, no children, never been married (not even close really). I'm a career girl - good at my job, well compensated, well traveled. I've been enjoying life and hoping that Mr. Right would show up eventually and I believe with all my heart that he's finally here.
I have never been happier or more at ease with anyone. We are already building a future together that will include his sons. Terms of the joint custody agreement has them with us two nights a week and every other weekend.
The other night my Hunny asked "Do you want to have children or would you rather just be a part-time Mom / StepMom? We could spend our time & energy making every other weekend great for the boys and then have the off weekends to ourselves. We could travel and relax and just enjoy each other."
I didn't know what to say. I couldn't answer definitively one way or the other.
Did I always imagine that I'd have children? Yes. Does my heart beat a little faster when I hold my newborn nieces and nephews? Yes. Do I already enjoy the time we spend with the boys? Very much so... they are smart and funny and like their Dad in a lot of ways.
But on the other hand, there is something very appealing about the idea of having him to myself every other weekend. Maybe its just because we're still in the "honeymoon phase".
Maybe its because I work hard and look forward to that downtime at least every other weekend. Maybe its because I wouldnt want to have a baby only to turn him/her over to daycare at 12 weeks old. And working only part time might be detrimental to the career I've spent years building.
So my question is, will having his sons with us half time fulfill the urge / desire to be a Mom? I would love to hear from the ladies who've been where I'm at today. What decision did you make? Are you happy? Would you go back and do it differently if you could?
TIA for your help.