After all these years.... still bugs me????

imamommySeptember 9, 2010

I tried posting this yesterday but for some reason, it was deleted.

I've mentioned in the past that my son had a stepmother. She went out of her way to cause problems with me, tried to alienate my son from me (didn't work of course), even harassed my other kids at times. I believe she is a sociopath & very immature. There were at least three restraining orders in two counties that she regularly violated & the courts did nothing. Nevertheless, she had a relationship with my son & is the mother of my son's half brother. She is now divorced from his dad & my son has since told me he wants nothing to do with her, except to see his half brother. He cannot see his half brother through his dad because she refuses to let him see their son.

Anyways, yesterday I saw that she joined facebook & wrote the following on my son's wall.

"Hi SS. Yesterday was (your 1/2 brother's) 11th B day. Aunt D., M., T., R & R Send Thier Love. Grandma V Prays For You every Night You are still her King. Grandma has been in Hospital for 3 weeks already Hopefully when you come back to the states you can stop bye and see her. I copied you pic and the baby (DGS) she was so happy All her friends cant believe how your a man already they still remember you as the spoiled litle boy. Love you always. May God bless you and keep you safe Son."

Reading this just really irritated me. I mean, my son is almost 24 years old & can make up his own mind whether to have a relationship with her or not. I know the only reason it bugs me is because of all the things she said & did to ME as my son was growing up. He was born with a congenital heart defect, she would tell me how I wasn't a real woman & all I could produce was a defective child. As far as I know, she treated him well, but made no secret of her feelings toward me... especially to him. I believe that is why he tells me he wants nothing to do with her.

It has been over 12 years since I have seen or heard from her & I'd heard that after she divorced my son's father, she had another kid with someone else (his ex best friend actually) and moved away. She's been in & out of jail. She was supposedly into drugs & her kids had been in & out of foster care. A lot of that is based on what my son has told me, public court records & a few old friends that know her. Anyway, it kinda shocked me that after that many years, one simple 'seemingly innocent' message to my son could stir me up. It also annoyed me that she admits copying pictures... ones I took & posted of DGS for my son to see, but I guess that is the down side of posting pics on facebook... anyone can get them. I fought the urge to respond or write something (tell her what I think of her) and instead, I blocked her & made my FB private... but still wanted to vent a little about it here. I am actually kinda angry that she called him "son". At one point, she got in my face & told me that SHE is his mother, I am NOT. She told him from day 1 to call her "mama L", and that didn't bother me until the day she told me that I am not his mother, she is. I knew she wanted kids & had some trouble conceiving, and when she said that it made me think she was mental or delusional and really believed my son was HERS.

In a way, I wonder if she wrote it expecting me to see it & react. I won't give her THAT satisfaction. (I say that because of her statement that he's "still her King" and yet she has her own son that just turned 11. Why would MY son be her "king", which is a silly thing to tell a child anyways, let alone a 23+ year old man that has his own family & is deployed military. lol, now that I think about it like that, I hope none of the guys in his unit read his facebook page!

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She sounds delusional. Seriously.

Is your son friends with her on facebook? Does he want to be? (I am assuming if so, it's because of his younger half brother.)

I can totally understand how it would bother you. I think women tend to get territorial/protective/mama bear-ish over our children; the mature ones (like the majority of US on here) are able to push that feeling down and act in our child's best interest, no matter how WE may FEEL.

But vent away! That comment would get under my skin, too. Very bizarre!

    Bookmark   September 9, 2010 at 7:10PM
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Yea, that is a really bizarre thing to post on FB.
What's your DS say about it?
Agreed, I think she is baiting you. The calling him Son is what immediately caught my attention.

What can you do? You just can't reason with crazy.


    Bookmark   September 9, 2010 at 7:19PM
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She told you you weren't a woman because all you could produce was a "defective child", then she had trouble conceiving, then she told your son that she's his mother & you're not...

Her problem sounds like the kind of thing that leads women to kill a mother & steal her child.

I think you & your son are lucky-
he grew up without being kidnapped, & you're still alive.

It would be better if she never knows that you read this nonsense.

Take care.

    Bookmark   September 9, 2010 at 7:34PM
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I'm so puzzled.
What a loonietoon!

    Bookmark   September 10, 2010 at 3:14AM
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I think she was saying that Grandma still thinks DS is her "King".

Still a weird thing to write. Very odd post.

    Bookmark   September 10, 2010 at 12:17PM
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That freakazoid post says a lot about her --
nothing about you or your son...

    Bookmark   September 10, 2010 at 1:26PM
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I was puzzled and pondering the meaning of the whole post, and I think I've figured it out. Perhaps "Grandma" is as delusional as XSM is and has DS confused with "King" her pet dog!

Seriously, what a whack job. I love how she got that little dig in about how he used to be a "spoiled little boy".

    Bookmark   September 10, 2010 at 2:05PM
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Oh yeah, Mattie, that little dig was great! I caught that, too.

Seriously, Ima, try not to let this wackadoodle take up another ounce of space in your head.

    Bookmark   September 10, 2010 at 3:01PM
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All I can say is WOW! That is a bizarre post she left your son on his facebook page!

    Bookmark   September 11, 2010 at 12:25AM
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She is definitely wacky! She is 5 years older than me & all this began when I was 17 & she was 22. A few of the things she did...

**Came to my house at 2am (two carloads of girls w/her) and asked me to come outside to "talk". She told me she had a baseball bat with her.

**Anytime she saw me in public, she would confront me. Once I was walking down the street, she drove past several times yelling out her car window that I was a hooker & pretty much any vulgar thing you can imagine. One time yelled "free p*ssy". (I ignored her & acted as if she wasn't there... though I was kinda terrified of her, but I also realized that SHE was the one making a fool of herself.)

**She called my house relentlessly. Once, I had to disconnect the line from the wall at night to go to sleep & when I woke up & plugged it back in, it rang. It was her at 7am. I changed my number, she had the new number that SAME day. She told me she had all my personal information because she broke into my apartment. She even told me where she got it & described the inside of my apartment in a way only someone that was in there could. (hence, my first restraining order when I was 18)

**Drive by my house day & night. (violating the restraining order)

**She called my house repeatedly, making threats. She threatened to have me murdered. I was in the middle of making a police report when she called again. The officer answered and 'warned' her not to call me anymore. The DA filed charges for terrorist threats & she was given 6 months suspended sentence. If she left me alone & did nothing for six months, charges were dropped. On the day after the 6th month, she started calling again.

**Called my job & pretended to be my babysitter, trying to get my hours. She would go to my job when she thought I was there. I ended up transferring & my boss wouldn't tell her where I went... 'cause she asked him.

**When I moved with exBF, she backed off a little (he is a cop) but one day all our kids were a block away riding bikes in a dirt lot. She drove over to them & told them that I was a whore & a bunch of other nasty things. (This led to MY filing a contempt charge for violating the restraining order) Court gave her a slap on the hand & as we were leaving the courtroom, she called me a fat b!tch loud enough for the Judge to hear. All he did was held her in the holding area for an hour so I could leave the court house.

I learned a lot about the court system because of her... and that has actually been a positive in the end. I used to fear her to the point of getting physically ill at the sight of her, but over time, all the experiences have made me stronger. My focus was always my son, not her or the things she did. She will never understand my relationship or bond with my son. She has tried for 20+ years to push my buttons & when I was a young, naive, scared girl... she must have felt triumphant to intimidate me. Today, she just seems pathetic & weak to me. A middle aged woman that is saying & doing the same immature stuff she was doing 20+ years ago.

If this was her attempt at reaching out to my son after 12 years... yuck! I just didn't expect to have any feelings about it & was surprised it bugged me at all. I mean, I can see right through to what it really is... so it isn't bothering me now. Just didn't want to feel that initial 'irritation'. I know she's not worth wasting that much energy on. (and yes, I get the irony in that statement because I wasted more energy posting about it here... lol)

The worse part in all this for me... my son married a girl JUST like her!

    Bookmark   September 11, 2010 at 1:45AM
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If she isn't fazed by the police or the courts, is there anybody she *is* likely to listen to?

When I was in junior high, a big rough mean girl took it into her head to terrorize me, & it didn't stop until my father went to visit her father.

    Bookmark   September 12, 2010 at 2:31PM
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nuts...just nuts...

seems that facebook membership once again causes unnecessary drama, all of it could be avoided...when i want to send pics to my loved ones i send attachments. I keep hearing how people post nonsense on facebook, everyone can read, or people spy on each other. if not facebook, she probably wouldn't have anyways of contacting your son or at least you would never learned about it, and she would have no access to baby's pictures.

    Bookmark   September 12, 2010 at 4:37PM
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