Are we overreacting?
So the mom of SD's best friend (BFF) is a good friend of mine. She called today because she 'forgot to tell me something important' the other day.
Monday night SD went to BM's for her last week of summer visitation. BM picked up SD and her BFF for a sleepover. Apparently later that evening the 4 of them (the 2 yr old daughter as well) went down the road from BM's apartment to the store, which is on the corner of a busy street and a VERY busy street. As they were leaving BM tossed the keys to SD and told her to drive the mile or so home. The problem? SD is 14, has no permit and about 3 experiences (that we have heard about) behind the wheel when she's been camping!!! So not only was she breaking the law, she was putting the lives or herself, her 2 daughters and HER DAUGHTER'S FRIEND in danger.
I don't know who I am maddest at - BM for being a total moron and letting SD do illegal things and obviously telling her not to tell her dad, SD for going along with it and keeping the secret, or my friend for not calling BM up as soon as she heard and saying 'how DARE you put my daughter's life in danger!' Granted, I know she HATES confrontation but come on! She didn't even want me to say anything to SD or BM because her daugter might get mad, and SD might get mad at her daughter.
It's hard to punish SD because her mom was telling her to do this, but she knows right from wrong. She could have, and should have, said no to her mom. I personally want to tell her that if we can't trust her to stand up to pressure and make the right choices she can't be trusted with huge responsibilities like a learner's permit, and she will have to wait until she can be trusted to get one. We could say 'if it happens again. . .' but how would we know?! For all we know this has been going on for a while and the only reason we found out was because BFF was involved.
We JUST talked to BM two weeks ago about many things, one of which was SD and driving. We discussed how and when she should be taught. BM admitted to having her drive while camping, but that was it. It was agreed DH would teach her on a manual shift in a deserted parking lot. . . . or so we thought.
I know BM is trying to be the cool mom, but what is she teaching her daughter? That it's ok to break the law? That you only have to follow those rules that you choose?
I am SO livid right now. Am I overreacting? It's all I can do not to pick up a phone and go off.