Should we allow this??

mom2emallSeptember 5, 2009

I have a sticky situation and am not sure what to do about it. My family treats my skids the same as they treat my son. All birthdays and holidays get acknowledged for all the kids. This summer my dad took all the kids camping for a weekend. My family all refers to the kids the same way as they refer to my son (ex:my grandchildren, my nieces and nephews...etc).

Anyways my father was asking me if he could take just my son on a plane trip to visit relatives in another state. He can not afford to take all the kids and we are not in the position right now to pay for airfare for them all. I don't want my stepkids to be hurt, but I don't want to deny my son some bonding time alone with grandpa and going to visit our relatives.

What would you do?

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I would let him go and maybe do something special for the others while he's gone. Would the SK's even want to go on the trip? Things just aren't always equal and and I think it's perfectly normal for your dad to want to just take him.

    Bookmark   September 5, 2009 at 3:22PM
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you are such a thoughful person mom2emall.

I would allow it. it is normal. my cousin has triplets and they make an effort to provide individual time to each kid alone with grandparents and even individual parents. they just make sure that next time ohter kids get like today is X's time to spend saturday at gradma's, but Y is doing girly stuff wiht mom, then next weekend Z's time to go to gradmas but X and Y spend time with dad etc

My parents sometimes did things wiht one grandkid, sometimes wiht two, sometimes with all three. Kids need along bonding time wiht grandparents.

I see no problem. it is OK and even needed for your son and grandpa, plan something else fun for SKs that weekend so they are not left out.

    Bookmark   September 5, 2009 at 3:24PM
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imagining myself in the position of the steps...
I think I'd rather have something special going on at home!

    Bookmark   September 5, 2009 at 8:23PM
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I agree with many here, i would allow him to go and do something special with your children. Nothing wrong there. This is not about steps vs bio's. Your family has treated them equally and money now is tight for the trip. Not everyone can go at once for everything.

    Bookmark   September 5, 2009 at 9:02PM
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I would let him go and plan a special event with the other children.

    Bookmark   September 7, 2009 at 6:00PM
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