Marrying Widower with Adult Children
Somebody help me, please! I am about to marry a widower whose wife died 5 years ago. He has three adult daughters (one who lives with him), and to say that they are opposed to him re-marrying would be an understatement. Perhaps I was a bit naive, but this has really caught me off guard. By his own admission (and his friends), he has been a very lonely and sad man since his wife died. Now, all of his friends and colleagues tease him about how happy he's been over the past two years since we've been in a relationship. So, I would think his daughters would be happy for him also -- especially since they say they want him to be happy. One of them was honest enough to say up front that she just wasn't ready (the one who lives with him). She was never rude, but I knew exactly how she felt. The other two SAID they were happy for him, but I've discovered that they are being very conniving and deceitful, and saying things about me that just aren't true. It appears that they are very concerned about material things and they think I'm simply out to get what he has. I'm an independent career woman, and that is the least thing on my mind. With them being adults, they certainly don't need a mother... but I would like to be friends with them -- or at least have a cordial relationship with them -- for the sake of their dad. But... with all of the things they have said and done, I'm starting to build up a lot of resentment toward them and I can see things getting worse. Let me also say that this is a family that, on the outside, was a perfect happy family. But I can clearly see that it's also a family that is superficial, they never really say what's on their minds, will do anything to avoid confrontation or deal with unpleasant issues. What should I do? We have a beautiful relationship and we spend a lot of time together. But I'm worried about this situation with his daughters, and their mother's family is siding with them and making disparaging remarks about what I'm "doing" to this family. What am I doing? Loving a sweet and gentle man whose wife is no longer alive. Is that so awful? I'd love to hear from some of you.