Sad for DD
and myself to be honest. This is a long rambly rant, sorry. Ignore or give it to me, I just want to get it out.
Some of my best childhood memories was summer time when I got to spend time with my grandparents. There was usually a couple week long stretches where I got to visit. My grandmother taught me everything from gardening, cooking to holocaust history and womens rights. She and my grandfather taught me family history and showed me old photos and told the funniest stories about the family members I never met. My grandfather took me on fishing trips, we took road trips to see the house he was born in, the house his father built.
Its the end of summer and I feel bad for DD. I dont know what got me to thinking about it, but my father is not like that for her. They dont inquire about her much, dont take much interest. Sometimes I think it has to do with his kids now, they are still school age and it's like he has had 3 decades of children under 10. He just doesnt have time, he's in the same boat as me. Active parenting. Some times it just doesn't seem right. I'm not really these kids older sister, I'm like an aunt. I dont really have the time to bond as brother and sisters with them as everyone thinks I should be doing. I try, but its not a sibling relationship at all, Im just another babysitter or person to give them toys and presents. I dont really mind but I dont like the expectation of how I should be with them, when my daughter the grandchild is constantly snubbed. It's weird and unnatural, and yes I resent being put in this position without my consent lol. Dont get me wrong, I love all my brothers and sisters, this is just a pity party and you're all invited :)
I look at my boyfriends family and they are SO different. They get together just because! Not when someone needs babysitting or a holiday, just because they want to spend time together. There is no unnatural relationships, no tension, they dont feel forced to interact and establish relationships outside of their personal boundaries. It couldnt be anymore different than the balancing act of a family I and DD have. DD notices it too and asks why does bf's mother want to take me shopping? She doesn't get why and thats just so sad to me. She (yes an older grown up) wants to get to know you and finds pleasure in spending time with you! DD doesn't know that side of families and dangit, it makes me sad.