"Stepmom" duties and responsibilities
My boyfriends almost two year old child lives with us half the week. I have been really struggling with it. It's been for about two months now that his child has been with us. I really like the kid and am happy he is with is but the adjustment has been hard on me. I wasn't mentally prepared for the constantly of having a toddler with you all the time. I also feel pressure to participate in every single activity. One time my boyfriend, baby, and myself were at the park. My boyfriend and I got into an argument and I said I was going home rather than continue it. He told me that if I did that, when "______ wants you here so I expect you to be here", then he would stop having the child live with us and would go back to the old situation, in which he went to his ex's apartment every single weekday and watched their child there. After a year of this I was close to my breaking point, this this new living situation. So now I feel like if I don't go to the park, read, color, do every thing, then I'm being looked at like a monster. This is also because I pushed for this living situation, so this is "what I wanted." Yesterday and today my boyfriend has been annoyed because he feels I don't change enough diapers and I don't get up with the baby at night. Last night I said I would, when the baby woke up I went in there but for 20 min he cried for daddy. Finally my boyfriend came in and took over but today is annoyed because I didn't give the baby another bottle and didn't change his diaper last night when I tried to put him back down. I feel like this is really unfair! First of all, I didn't have a baby yet! I never got the crash course in waking up 9 times a night. I don't even remember my boyfriend waking me up to get the baby. I don't have that response yet. All of this is new to me and then he makes me feel like a failure. Second, what IS my responsibility here? Should child care duties be 50/50? I'm really unsure of this and need advice. Thank you.