My adult step daughter
I have a step daughter who is approaching 24 years of age. I met my wife when her daughter was already 20. I never even knew her mother when she was growing up. My step daughter was a fully grown adult in college (living on her own in another state.) She has never lived with us either. And now, she has graduated from college, her mother and I just got married last year, and I although I care for my wife's daughter a lot, the daughter has been putting unbelieveable pressures on not just her mother, but myself as well to continue paying for her needs and wants. She wrote a very upsetting e-mail yesterday to her mother that said among other things "When a man marries a woman, and that woman has a child, the man has responsibilities and obligations to that child to take care of his/her needs and wants. When we all try to tell her she's no longer a child, she's an adult who is responsible for herself, she gets furious! She insists that she is still a child and
that I am being immature by not taking care of her needs and wants, like vacations even! She has even threatened to notify my 75 year old father (who is ill) to talk trash about me! I find her behaviour unacceptable and feel that a college graduate in her mid-twenties has an obligation to herself to take care of her own self. I care about her and love her, but she is extremely demanding, and especially demanding when it comes to money, and expensive trips. Always trying to put guilt trips on us. My own father invited my wife and I on a Christmas cruise this year for example. My father is in his 70's and has a nice nestegg to live out the rest of his life. He is paying the $5,000 per person for my wife and I. We both have agreed to alternate between my family and my wifes during the holidays. We spent last year's Thanksgiving and Christmas with my wife's side. This year it is my family's turn and we intend to accept their invite on this cruise. Well, my step daughter is furious and demands that she be taken as well. (even though she has no money and no job) She has threatened to never speak to her mother again if we go. I have expressed that her mother and I cannot afford to take her and she cannot afford to take herself, so the answer is no. That's when she e-mailed us nasty messages about how we don't meet our "obligations" to her. Her mother paid for everything for her all her life, even the first 2 year's of college, and very expensive spring break trips for all 4 years of her college.When does the free ride end? In HER mind NEVER. Any suggestions on how to deal with someone like this???