I think I handled this well
So BM contacted me again.
I don't really get it. If someone had taken great length to cut contact between me and them---as in changing their phone number, getting an RO, and I had to sneakily snoop out their phone number---I think I'd get the point.
I have a little dignity, ya know?
But with BM, it's like she will continue to contact me no matter what. Just because.
It wasn't anything bad but still. That's not the point.
SS's school fundraising packet was due yesterday and it had been left accidentaly in his bedroom at our home; BM had arranged with school to turn it in a day late, but she needed to know the amounts of $$$ owed by HER friends and family, so she could collect the $$$ last night. (which she was supposed to collect up front, but I guess she didn't realize that.)
Anyway, she talked to DH about it around noon, I guess, b/c DH called me and asked if I could get the totals and EMAIL HIM--and he would let BM know.
I said fine, no problem.
Well, about an hour later, I get two text messages from BM asking ME to just call HER with the information.
I am so annoyed that she even HAS my phone number in the first place. Ya know? It really p*sses off! I do not want her contacting me in ANY way, shape or form.
I texted her back and said exactly this: please do not contact me again.
Ok, maybe that was rude of me, whatever, but you know something-- I don't really care. This is MY boundary that I am enforcing. I do not do well with people treating me the way she does. Not two weeks ago, I had a voicemail from her swearing at me and calling me a d*psh*t.
And then this?
I'm sure it is no surprise to any of you that DH was initially mad AT ME. He said "WHY did you have to respond to her at all? Now SHE is furious!"
I don't know. My rationale was that I wanted to make it CLEAR to BM that I am asking her to leave me alone. In case I renew my order--I want proof that I've asked her on multiple occasions to stop contacting me. I feel like if I ignored the texts, in one way, that's me accepting what she's doing.
I don't know.
Well, needeless to say, DH was mad b/c BM was mad at him. I guess she had called him yelling that I better not show my ugly face at any of SS's soccer games, and I'm psycho, and she hates me and wants nothing to do with me. So I don't "need" to tell her to stop contacting me.
But here's where I feel I handled it well. I didn't try to defend myself to DH. I didn't even really care that HE was mad. I just said "I'm sorry you feel that way, I did what I felt was best." And left it alone.
And when he got home from work--the issue didn't come up at all. I mean, I have just accepted that I cannot control his reaction--ALL I can do is set and enforce my own boundaries for myself.
Good, yes? I was pretty pleased about it.