Waiting for it.....

mom2emallSeptember 20, 2010

So its only Monday morning and I am waiting for 2 issues to arise already!!

The first being my neighbor. She decided that her son is not allowed to hang out with the new kid down the street and told me so last week. Well the new kid wanted to walk to school with my son and I said yes. My son always walks with the neighbor too. So when the neighbor boy saw the new kid here he ran home for a sec...probably to see if he could still walk with my son since the new kid was with. The neighbors parents were already gone so I am thinking he asked his brother. Just waiting for my neighbor to call complaining about the new boy later. I decided I am just going to say "I have not seen any issues with the new boy, he has been very polite over here so I am allowing my son to hang out with him for now." If the neighbor has a problem she can make her son walk alone to school or she could drive him herself.

Issue two is that this is the weekend bm is supposed to have this big shopping trip and party for sd. We will see if it really happens. I have this feeling that she will either just not show or she will take the kids and have excuses on why there will no longer be a bday present or party. Either one will be a let down for sd, who is expecting bm to take her shopping and celebrate her bday like bm said she would.

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Good for you, reaching out to the new boy. Poor kid.

    Bookmark   September 20, 2010 at 11:05AM
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That is really unfair of the neighbor if she decides that your son should not walk to school with the new kid because she does not like him/his family.

Maybe BM will come up with a new and innovative excuse! Our current top-ranked excuse is when BM told SS that she only got him one Christmas present (from the dollar store) because (after a detailed explanation of why she just quit going to work and got fired) she didn't have much money left, and most of what she had she sent to her BF so he could buy himself things.... at the prison store.

It's really hard, I think, to not feel personally resentful (not just upset on behalf of sKids) when promises are broken. It's already Monday and you know that there's a very good chance that your weekend will consist of trying to comfort SD for something that you saw coming a mile away and could do nothing to prevent.

    Bookmark   September 20, 2010 at 12:09PM
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I am finding out my neighbor is like that Mattie! She did tell me she does not want her son hanging out with the new boy. I did not say anything, just ok..ok..ok as she talked. So if she has anything to say about my son walking to school with the new boy thats too bad. She can control her kids....not mine!

Over the weekend I know the new boy went over to the neighbors to see if her son could hang out. Her son told the new boy he is grounded....nobody has told the new boy the truth. Puts me in an awkward position because the next day ds and the new boy wanted to go to the neighbors house to see if they could all hang out. I just told him the kid is grounded still because I did not want to listen to the neighbor complain that I allowed ds and the kid she won't allow over to come see if her son could hang out. Part of me feels that if she feels so strongly then she should make her son tell the kid he isn't allowed to hang out with him. If you are going to take such a strong stand then shouldn't you be able to voice it instead of hiding behind it?

Until (and if) the new boy does something to show me he is not a good kid (or ds does something to show me this child is a bad influence) I am going to allow ds to hang out with him.

I just know bm is going to mess up her promises this weekend. She always talks about things and never any follow thru. There is always a reason/excuse and it makes my stomach turn just listening to her act as if everyone is eating up her bs excuses hook, line, and sinker. She really lives in an alternative universe.

I can't believe bm in your case really used the "had to give bf in prison your Christmas gift money!!!" It would have been better to give the kid the cheap gift and maybe mention being broke....but not go into all that detail!

    Bookmark   September 20, 2010 at 12:23PM
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That's ridiculous; I agree that if she doesn't want her son to hang out with TNB then he should have to say something; it's not your job to safeguard her precious child from any unpleasantness. I also agree that it seems pretty harsh to ostracize a child based on their parents' behavior. How is the poor kid ever supposed to be able to rise above his father's trashy behavior if he's not allowed to be around kids with parents who act differently?!

We were a bit leery of one of SS' friends at first, due to some of his parents' behavior. But, we gave him a chance and soon came to realize that while the parents did some things we would not, their kids are well-mannered, respectful, friendly, clean, taken care of, etc. Maybe when they are all teenagers it might be a problem but right now it's not - and it's not like I haven't seen kids with well-educated, professional parents but the kids are ill-mannered dishonest untrustworthy brats.

The thing that infuriates me most about BM's excuses are that then SS tends to try the same thing(naturally enough). Fortunately his new school is of the same opinion (have I mentioned that so far I love his new school?); kids who try "the dog ate my homework" or "my mom forgot to put my permission slip in my backpack" are shot down as the administration is of the opinion that kids need to learn to be responsible at a young age. Your homework, your permission slip, your responsibility to have it safely back at school, on time.

That excuse beat out the previous favorite, the "I was going to get him a b-day present, but I asked him if he wanted to run along to the store with me and he said he'd rather stay with his brother so I decided to save the money and put it towards a Wii for myself." One of these days I'm going to bite my tongue all the way off, while SS is innocently telling us that the food in jail is really bad and BF needs money to buy snack cakes in the cool little store they have there. Although BM was griping (to DH) that she cannot afford to send BF much money at all now because she is forced to pay child support instead - oh, the horror of it!

    Bookmark   September 20, 2010 at 1:18PM
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Geez I must really be thinking about this because I had a dream about it last night. In my dream bm just showed up really early in the morning and woke me up because she wanted to get the kids. I told her that she was inconsiderate and how dare she show up and wake up our whole house. I then told her that when she wanted to take the kids she had to call at least the night before to arrange times and then I told her to leave because the kids were not going with her because they were sleeping. She threw a fit and I told her it was not fair to wake them all up rushing them to get out the door for her. Then I woke up!! Funny, but sad thing is this has happened in the past so it is possible!

    Bookmark   September 22, 2010 at 9:33AM
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Surprise surprise....bm hasn't called to confirm taking the kids tomorrow or arrange a time. Wonder if she even remembers she made these big plans with them? I decided I am not calling her to ask if she is still taking them. If she does not call then she does not see them I guess.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2010 at 2:14PM
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I honestly wonder if Dh should stop visitations all together because she makes plans and then cancels and it is detrimental to children. Is she still getting welfare on them?

    Bookmark   September 25, 2010 at 6:14PM
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BM did a no call no show yesterday. SS was sad and we ended up taking all the kids out for the day to have fun and get his mind off it all. Middle sd was pretty upset too because she pointed out how bm recently had a big party for her other kids christening and then couldn't be bothered to have a birthday party for one of them. Breaks my heart!!

I wanted to call bm during the day and let her know what a piece of garbage she is, but decided against it because I did not want to give her the chance to still salvage a day with them and act like she did nothing wrong. I waited until last night and sent her a text telling her what an awful thing for a little boy to be let down like that. She waited about 20 minutes and then texted back with an excuse. She tried to tell me she texted me the night before to arrange a time to get the kids and when I did not respond she figured something came up! YA RIGHT!

I told her I got texts from other people that same evening and nothng from her. I also told her she should have called if nobody responded to her text. I told her that the kids feel like she just doesn't care and blew them off for the millionth time. She went into how she loves them so much (BARF!) and how she is so happy when they are around and how she sat around all day just watching tv and would have loved to have them over. Hmmm...shouldn't she have had a houseful of people showing up for this big planned bday party?

I am officially done! DH said no more arranging anything for her. From now on the kids are just always busy!

    Bookmark   September 27, 2010 at 9:38AM
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That is so awful! You must have been so angry because you knew it was coming, and there was nothing you could do to prevent her from hurting her kids, yet again.

"she sat around all day just watching tv and would have loved to have them over." You must have SO wanted to tell her that you didn't give a rat's behind what she did that day, because what she did not do was to keep her promise - again. Amazing how it is all about her - always! So you should feel sorry for her because she no-showed on her kids again, and poor her because she sat home watching TV and would rather have had her kids there because she needed to be entertained? Just disgusting.

    Bookmark   September 27, 2010 at 10:32AM
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I'm SO mad!!!
Your poor kids - I hate hearing of them being let down like that.

    Bookmark   September 27, 2010 at 7:26PM
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