no support from hsbnd
I have a 34 y.o. SD who lives 5 hours away. She has 2 kids (young) and has used emotional blackmail on nearly everyone in her life, with success I might add. My husband of 11 years is a big pushover. He is afraid that she will cut him off from his grandchildren if he sets too many limits with her. After 10 years of putting myself out, I opted out of the interactions. I have neither seen nor talked to her in 2 years. I would also add that initially I made mistakes in the family dynamics, due to ignorance and not malice, which I have acknowledged and apologised for. There has been resistance from this girl from the beginning and I doubt it will ever stop. She is unaware and uninterested in her role in anything. My husband is asking me to go to birthday parties at her place (including his ex-wife) and the SD has asked several times if she can come here for the hellidays. I believe that my husband thinks that if we just do enough, or are accomodating enough there will be a nice relationship. I really doubt that will ever happen. My question is how do I handle this with my hsbnd? Am I being unreasonable to never have any contact at all? I mean, most families have someone that people just put up with at gatherings. I'm just tired after 10 years of her manipulation. I don't want to endure any of her bone cracking phony hugs, plan, cook, shop, wrap, clean up after a family of 4, listen to her loud voice and the commotion in the house and I don't want to go to her house either, and feel uncomfortable. My husband has decided that he will stop cooperating with my side of the family. This is a very complicated and sad situation for all! Any advice?