Adult Stepdaughter Still Resents Me After 20 Years
I guess I just need to vent. I love my 36-year-old stepdaughter and always have but sometimes she makes it difficult. Her father and I have been married for almost 20 years. Her parents had been divorced about 14 years before I came into the picture. My stepdaughter became a mother just before I met her father (she was 16). I tease my husband and tell him I only married him because I wanted to be be the baby's grandmother.
I know my husband doesn't call his daughter as often as he should. He usually only calls her after I mention it several times and he starts to feel guilty. I sometimes call her but she never acts happy to hear from me and she has NEVER called me. Her resentment toward me and my 2 grown children is obvious. My stepdaughter lives out of state so we don't see her but about 4 or 5 times each year. Her own father doesn't like to talk to her or see her because of her negative attitude. I think she enjoys being miserable.
I always remember my stepdaughter, her husband, and all 3 children's birthdays with a card and a gift (now remember she is 36) but I have never recieved a single card or telephone call wishing me happy birthday. I don't think she even knows when my birthday is. She doesn't even know how to spell my name (a common name with 5 letters) When we are together she trys hard to ignore me and I pretend not to notice. I'll never stop loving her because she is my husband's daughter and I am so disappointed that we aren't close but I'm almost ready to stop trying so hard. Any advice?