Hey JNM want to compare notes?
How was your week JNM? How did your SD go?
This weekend was a hard one for me for some reason. It's the same stuff as usual, but some days I just find it harder to deal with it (BM's madness).
Maybe it's because SD11 is getting sucked right in, and all we can do is stand by and watch it happen.
SD13 is staying with us for a week at a time now and all is going well at our place. BM is painting her black however (punishing SD13 for deserting) and SD11 is now all white (even more favored than normal).
SD11 is loving the extra attention, she's getting presents and clothing when SD13 is with us, they're having cake for dinner oohh it's soo much fun staying with BM while SD13 is with us...
Buuuuttt, SD's are also BM's carer and that is just not normal. SD13 is starting to pull away from this, and so SD11 now feels the pressure to fill the gap. And that is the real reason why SD11 needs to stay with BM for longer.
She feels responsible for BM's emotional wellbeing and it just annoys the hell out of me how such a young girl needs to carry this responsibility around. And let's not forget; because BM is so emotionally unstable SD11 can never succeed in her task, which is damaging her (already low) self esteem.
We are just so worried about her. I've mentioned on this forum before that BM is caring for a disabled 18-yr old who has a history of violent outbursts. She was having this girl around SD's and their baby brother. The good news is that BM has stopped having the girl around SD's, she only has her EOW now when SD's are with us. The bad news is that SD11 is still involved in helping BM care for the disabled girl. BM rings our house, SD11 has to go to her bedroom (secret service of course) and gets instructions on what to say to the disabled girl. Then BM puts the girl on the phone and SD11 repeats what needs to be said. It makes my blood boil!!!!
SD11:" Can you do something for me "X"? Can you please behave with my mum for me? Just do it for me because that would make me really happy".
And how is SD11 supposed to feel when she gets off the phone? Try anxious and worried. FDH did have a talk to SD11 and explained that it's not her place to be involved in her mum's job, and it's certainly not her responsibility to make the girl behave around BM. SD11 does understand that but she'll do it for her mum anyway (which is understandable).