Here we go again!!!

imamommyAugust 24, 2009

Just when I thought it was over... the wind was taken out of BM's sail when the court ordered her to pay for the evaluation and she has told DH that she doesn't have that kind of money so it won't happen. (She has already told him they'll be back in court soon, so who knows what she is plotting)

Just to update quickly, SD came back a little over a week ago. BM didn't buy her a thing for back to school, she has ignored DH's emails asking if she's going to help pay the bus fee ($195) and asking if she will let SD play baseball (ie. let DH pick her up early to bring her or BM can bring her) We got no response so we went ahead and signed her up and are taking her to practices on our time and if she misses out on BM's time, it's not our problem. She didn't voice an objection and SD should not miss out. (Well, she did say that he shouldn't sign her up for anything until we know for sure where SD will be living... but she'll be living here until the evaluation is done and the court says otherwise~ and we think it won't change anyhow)

Well, during the summer... at the end of July to be exact, we were preparing for court on August 3rd so I googled BM's email address. A new website that she's joined, popped up. So, I click on it and this is what it says...

" Woohoo another little one.

I am a mother of 2 and my fiance has 3 so this baby will make 6. lol I love stress!"

So, I call DH into the room and show him. He says that's not possible, she told me a few years ago that she had surgery and told him she was done having kids. He said she had everything removed and cannot have more kids. So, I assumed she just posted that because she knows in the past I have googled and found other sites.. or I figure things are getting worse with her BF (according to his exW, BM is telling his parents not to talk to the exW at the kid's games, etc. and BF is stressed out because BM won't work much and he's frustrated he's had to sell pretty much everything he got in the divorce settlement to support him and BM. He told his exW he's lost everything and the wedding is on hold because he can't afford to support a wife and her kids) so, I even assumed he's planning to ax BM and she told him she's pregnant to hang on a little while longer. [that's just a guess on my part]

Well, I asked exW about it a couple of weeks ago but she hadn't heard anything. Then last week, BF finally told his exW that BM is pregnant. SD has been back for two weeks and hasn't said a word so we figured she doesn't know. ExW told me that BF was going to tell the kids this weekend but SD was with us. Still, we figured she'll find out later. So, today exW tells me that BF told his kids this weekend but told them not to tell his parents (their grandparents) and that SD has known for a while. DH thinks this explains why SD has had an attitude with us since she came back from her mom's. I thought she was just upset at realizing her mom wasn't going to get custody but now it makes even more sense that she knows she isn't going to live with her mom and now mom is excited over a new baby too.

But, there is a nagging doubt in the back of my mind that tells me she will come up with a story to explain why there is no baby in nine months... or a story of how this is a miracle since she told DH it was not possible for her to have more kids. She was either lying to DH when she said no more kids or she is lying to BF (and all the kids) now. I'm a little peeved that now there are at least four kids holding in a secret from people they love... and it should be an exciting announcement, not something to hide.

Yeah, while it's really none of my business what BM does... I could care less personally if it's true or not [though it is sad that she doesn't take care of the kids she has now and might be having another one with a guy that seems to want to get out now... poor baby if it's true] but now we get to deal with the fallout on SD... her attitude, her anger, her feelings and that means more counseling. When it equates to more stress in our home, more expense for counseling, more time from my schedule to take her to the counselor, then I guess in that way it does affect me and I have to admit I resent it. BM stopped paying her child support of $61.38 a week back in July. I guess maybe now she will say she can't work because she's pregnant.

What a piece of work she is!!!

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If she is lying about being pregnant, then she's even more insane than we all thought!

And if she IS pregnant....well, I feel for this new little baby, and for the affect it will have on SD, and, consequentally, you and DH. :(

What does your gut tell you---do you really think she's pregant? If she is, maybe she will at the very least be distracted and drop this whole court thing!

    Bookmark   August 25, 2009 at 12:01AM
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My gut tells me she is lying to her BF. It's too convenient that she has been with him two years and he is finally confiding in his ex wife that he made a mistake and regrets everything he's done, and that is the exact time that BM gets pregnant? Too convenient, plus she told DH a few years ago she can't have kids anymore.

If she is pregnant, then she was lying to DH and judging by BF's reaction, it was not planned. (at least not a plan BF was involved in... BM may have planned it) It will be a real mess because SD already feels her mom ignores her. The other thing is that BM's older DD14 just moved up with her after living with grandma for two years. We figured she moved her other DD there because we made sure the court knew she has full custody of her DD but she lives with grandma. So, we thought she moved her in to show the court she now has her DD with her, but now we think perhaps she just needs her to babysit when the baby is born? (if there really is a baby)

As you can tell, I really think she is lying. Maybe I am in denial.. I didn't think she could do anything crazier than she already has but she just keeps going and going and going and going....

For me the worse part in what BM is doing, is that BF's kids were already just dealing with their parents divorce... they divorced a few months before he met BM and now they have been told dad is marrying BM... they have set a date two or three times... BM has bought two different wedding dresses and shown the kids her dresses... BM has asked SD to ask me to bake her wedding cake... BM has actually bought wedding stuff on ebay and posted a blog on her myspace announcing her wedding to all her friends. So, BM has been, for the last two years, kept this charade up that she is going to marry their dad... and kept her daughters pumped up over it. Her older daughter posted a picture of BM & BF on the internet saying "my mom and soon to be stepdad"... SHE IS STILL MARRIED TO HER OLDER DAUGHTER'S FATHER!!!! I don't think BF would be telling his kids he's marrying BM if he really knew she was still married.

So, that brings the question: Would he tell his kids she's pregnant if he wasn't absolutely sure? Well, he is either still believing what he is told or he has gone with her to the doctor and it's true. I tend to believe he is taking BM's word for it because she is very convincing... even now, if we didn't know all the lies she's told & been caught in, she might get one over on us still. So, I think while he's at work, she is saying she's been to the doctor, etc. Only time will tell if that's true or not. If she ends up saying she had a miscarriage.. it will be really hard for me to muster up sympathy (which I have for anyone that suffers that) because I really think she is lying and of course if she really is pregnant and has a miscarriage, then my indifference would be sinful and that thought bothers me. I just have a hard time when it comes to her... If she weren't such a liar!

    Bookmark   August 25, 2009 at 2:05AM
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"So, that brings the question: Would he tell his kids she's pregnant if he wasn't absolutely sure?"

well why wouldn't he be absolutelly sure? if someone tells me they are pregnant, I have no reasons to doubt it. she is quiet young, so why can's she have children? why would he suspect anything? she told your DH that she had everything removed? yeah right. another lie.

i have hard time understanding why she needs a baby now, she doesn't even pay CS on the one she has. what a mess. of course she will quit working now and will spend even less time wiht SD being busy with a baby. and if there is no baby, she is even crazier than i thought.

    Bookmark   August 25, 2009 at 11:23AM
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