At my whits end!!!!!
Hello to the forum: I am hoping for some helpful advice on dealing with my 11 yr old step-daughter and father. My wife's ex-husband has told their 11 yr old that she does not have to listen to anything I say and that she does not even have to be in our house while I am home, this is killing my wife because every time I am home her daughter is totally disrespectful to both of us and constantly trying to get her mother to let her leave to go back to her father. I am from the old school that refuses to allow a child to be disrespectful to an adult and believe in disciplining a child when they mis-behave so this has made me into the "mean" step-father in the daughters eyes- dad gives her anything she wants and has treated her as an equal when it comes to his dealings with her mother, she knows all the details concerning their divorce and custody so anything that goes on in our house(like her being disciplined-he doesnt want me to discipline her) that the father does not agree with is passed on to him by the daughter. I also have a daughter the same age so I cannot allow my step daughter to act one way when I expect my daughter to act another. My wife feels guilty about the divorce as far as her daughter is concerned so is very leery of pushing her away by being to hard on her and her father is making the situation worse by playing on that guilt. I am loosing control in my own home because of the discipline issue; the ex has threatened to have me arrested for domestic abuse for disciplining his child, what can I do? My lawyer says I have the right to discipline in my own house as long as it is not abusive but I cannot loose my career over silly allegations from the ex. I know I have rambled trying to relay my situation and I apologize but I am at a loss as to how to proceed.