Need help with 9 year old
My DH and and I have been together a couple years and when we got together, I knew he was divorced with two kids, who were 14 and 7 (they will be 15/9 this October). The biggest problem(s) we have, have been due to the way his ex wife has chosen to raise them and have noticed they are both extremely rude, inconsiderate, selfish, lazy, and immature. The house where the ex lives is filthy, there are holes in the floors and walls (even in the winter!), there is a "carpet" of dog poop throughout the whole house, dirty clothing everywhere, disgusting, nasty dirty dishes everywhere, food old and new all over the house - not to mention a veritable slew of roaches, ants, rats, mice and other assorted creatures. The kids are never made to help with chores and there is junk in the yard, as well as outside their fences and gates.
Last summer, my DH and I thought they would be staying at home (at the Ex's), but the younger son spent most of his summer in day care and we still aren't really sure why. They are certainly old enough, but the only thing we were told is that they fight, The oldest son barely made it through 8th grade and if his grandparents hadn't stepped in and paid (like $10,000) for fancy tutoring, he would not have passed 9th grade. The older son is very, very obese - 6'0 and 375 lbs, now the younger one is leaning that direction too.
The mother has taught neither of these children any type of life skills and they are not at all interested in doing anything for themselves, because someone has always done everything for them... I could go on and on, but the problem I have at this moment, is the 9 year old, because the 15 year old has been with his mother...
The nine year old lies and embellishes upon everything, then when he gets caught and is asked why he lies, he give the classic "I dunno" response. He also has started sneaking food then claiming is is hungry all the time. I don't know whether to believe him about anything anymore and though I love my DH... He feels guilty and there are no consequences to the lying. There's a lot more too... And it will post more. Thank you in advance. :)