Hurt but motivated now....
Me and DH got into an argument the other day about us and how his schedule is affecting us....blablabla. After I told him I was sick of his work schedule and it was changing him he told me that I am not the person he married either. That I used to be independant and secure and goal orientated!! I guess I started it though because I told him he has become lazy since on this schedule.
I was sooo hurt by this. Then I thought about it and over the last few years since he has been on afternoons I have become the primary care taker for all 4 kids and I have lost myself in it all. I stopped teaching full-time because I was overwhelmed with running a household almost by myself. I stopped going to the gym for lack of time. Now I have gained a bit of weight and really have lost a lot of the ambition I used to have.
So I recently filled out the FASFA forms and am trying to get into grad school for this school year....not sure if I will make it into fall sememster....but definately spring. I decided that I am going to take classes two evenings a week so I can earn my masters degree while I am not working full-time and actually have time to focus on school. One of those nights is my dh's regular day off work and the other night I have a relative who offered to babysit. (I don't want my 14 year old sd stuck at home babysitting instead of doing activities at school).
I also went and signed up for a gym membership today and signed up for a few personal training lessons to get myself back on track. I am going to start making myself a priority again! I feel so much better already! And my dh is excited about it all too :)
So I am not sure why I felt the need to type this. Maybe I am just trying to say to all of you ladies that we need to be reminded to take care of ourselves!! Sometimes the stress of the stepfamily can take away who we are and we focus so much on all the drama and trying to keep our lives normal that we forget who we were before it all began!