mom2emallAugust 14, 2010

Bm asked us a while ago if she could have the kids today because she now goes to church and wanted to get her 3 youngest kids christened. So dh said yes. She told us a tim she would be here. Yesterday we called to confirm the time. She said nothing changed.

Today dh was at work and I got the kids up. The girls wanted me to curl their hair and I was in the middle of that when the phone rings. Its bm telling the kids she is 2 min from our house!!! She wasn't supposed to be here for over 30 min. Ss was in the shower. I'm standing there with middle sd's hair almost done and older sd's hair not done. Older sd plugged in the flat iron to go over her hair quickly. It was such a rushed mess. The kids would have easily been ready if she had stuck to her time.

We answer the door and tell bm everyone is almost ready and she has the nerve to say she's in a hurry. Seems her bf's boss didn't pay him yesterday and they need that money for their party after the christening today so they have to go meet him NOW.

I wanted to slam the door and tell her the kids aren't ready. But I just reminded her we thought we had 30 more minutes so they will be ready asap.

Just amazes me how bm and her bf always have some crisis that excuses them from inconveniencing everyone else (well at least in their minds).

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I expected her not to show up at all, better early than never LOL, what a crazy woman.

I have to tell you that my ex is not deadbeat or crazy but he always picked DD up late or early, he still does everything either late or early and never remembers anything, he got DD's college graduation date and time wrong. very annoying, luckily I don't have to deal with him that much anymore.

with 3 kids and one of your own i can only imagine how crazy it is to get them ready in a rush just because she is inconsiderate and crazy

    Bookmark   August 14, 2010 at 11:36PM
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How frustrating. And how unfair to the girls; they're all prepared to go out looking their best and then they're thrown off all day with half-done hair. What a shame that all the phones in your area apparently quit working at the same time last night so that she couldn't call to let you know this beforehand.

    Bookmark   August 15, 2010 at 11:22AM
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Yes parent it was a crazy morning! And Mattie I don't understand why all the phones in our area quit working the night before either?? It always seems to happen to bm that phones just don't work! LOL

And it puts me in a bad position. I could have told bm that she can not come get the kids early and either she waits 30 minutes or doesn't get them. Sure it was a pain to rush, but it was not impossible. And if I didn't let the kids go with her then the kids would see me as the bad guy!

BM just thinks the world revolves around her.

Yesterday the grandparents came into town. BM inserted herself into the plans saying we needed to drop the kids off to her because her parents could not be here at 10 like planned because they were driving from a few hours away that morning. She said it would be easier on her parents if we dropped the kids off to her on our way out that day (because we had plans around 10:30). We were going that way anyways so we agreed and texted the grandparents to let them know bm changed the plans.

Sat night when bm drops the kids off LATE after the christening party she says that they are all going to the beach at 9am Sunday. DH says well we were dropping them off by you at 10 because you said 10 was too early for your parents to pick them up? BM says plans changed, I need them at 9. So dh says well either you pick them up from us at 9 or we drop them off at 10 as planned. BM says she will call us in the morning to let us know which would be better. We say fine. At 8am dh calls grandparents on their cell and arranges plans with them because bm had not called us.

This is the nonsense we deal with.

We stopped the unexpected show ups by refusing to let her take the kids if she does not make plans in advance. We stopped the late pick-ups by having plans for about 25 min after she was to pick up the kids....this way if she showed up late or even called to say she would be late we could say "well we have plans so you will not be able to take the kids today". We don't allow her to take the kids to school functions, sports, activities, etc because she is not responsible enough to get them there on time, if at all. We have the kids cell phones set to not take calls after bedtime so she can not disturb their sleep with late night calls or texts.

Now how do we stop plan changes?? I don't want to be completely inflexible because I am flexible with my sons father and it works so well. I almost would feel guilty if we were to tell bm that plans were set in stone. But her constant changes are annoying, especially when she does not see the kids all that often! With my ex we can change plans or run late and its not a problem because we have common courtesy. We call right away when we know there will be a change and we are flexible in switching visitation. He does not just show up at my house or make a million plan changes.

    Bookmark   August 16, 2010 at 10:30AM
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