My stepson has removed me from his facebook page because I asked him to call our accountant, who is also the accountant of his small business, which my husband assisted him with buying by placing the amount of the loan in the bank where he secured it to back him up if he ever defaulted on it, a total of $100,000. The verbal agreement was to use our accountant with whom we have done business with for over 20 years. My stepson sent me a nasty e-mail stating our accountant was too expensive and no good and said he was tired of my e-mails and it was no one's business but his.
I have always bent over backwards for him. I always treated him well. We were close the past few years. I believe I was used and he snowed me. When we got to the point where I was more comfortable with him I saw he was having a problem with going to work, due to relationship difficulties, and drinking. I told him I thought he drank too much and so for the past few months he really hasn't communicated with his father or myself. Now, he doesn't communicate with us at all.
His father was married to his mother for 8 months and she left him before my stepson was born. She has had seven marriages, possibly more, and we were never allowed to see our stepson. When he finally married he started to talk with us and we saw each other. That marriage lasted two years and he immediately got in a relationship with someone else and had a second child (the first when he was 17 with a girlfriend and now this one who lives in another state as their relationship didn't work either).
I don't know if any of this is making any sense at all. I am hurt beyond belief. I pushed his father to help him financially. I pushed his father to change his will and include him. I included him in my will to get some of my assets. Now, I just want to start over and undo all I did because I am hurt and angry.
Why must we walk on egg shells around these stepchildren? I ask him to do something important and tell him I think he drinks too much and I'm shunned from his life.
My husband and I have been married 32 years and have three beautiful children. If they were drinking too much we'd tell them. Do stepchildren expect not to be disciplined?
Now, my husband worries that his company will go under and he will lose his $100,000 and if that happens, I will be the one blamed because I pushed him, so I suffer with worry double time now.
The worse part is the hurt though. My stepson once told me that he had been taught to hate me all his life, but that he doesn't. I guess he lied because if he didn't hate me why would he just drop out of my life? I am the one who has helped him more than his mother ever did and I am the one who has supported him in all he did.
How do you deal with the hurt?