Adult SS is going to be the end of my marriage
I'm new to this forum, and mostly need to vent. I married my husband 10 yrs ago. He moved here from another country, while his son (9 at the time)stayed with his mother. My husband maintained a relationship with his son...called once a week, visits at Christmas and over the summer. Stepson never called his dad, and when my husband did call, his stepson rarely talked..was too busy watching tv or playing on the computer. Stepson would come over the summer, be sad when he had to go back, but as soon as he was home, he lost touch.
Fast forward to two years ago. Out of the blue, stepson tells me via facebook, he wants to move in with us. I was floored, but we'd gotten along well, so I was happy to hear it. I did all the paperwork to get him here. Stepson indicated he wanted to go to college. Fine. Moved in with us last June. For the first six months, he lazed around, didn't work, didn't look into schools. I felt bad for him, because he gave me a sob story about how his stepfather was so mean to him and made him feel unwanted.
Well, it's now been 15 months and stepson still doesn't work. We found out he failed the last three years of school and has not shown any interest in doing his GED and go to college. He doesn't drive...we finally forced him to get his permit in February after having the manual for 8 months. Ontario law says he has to have a permit for 8 months before taking the road test, so we have drive him everywhere (we live in the country). He did finally get a job in a donut shop, and was let go a month later.
My husband, who is VERY strict with our other kids (I have one from a previous marriage, and we have two together). He's always on their case about doing chores and helping out. My husband was laid off six months ago, and his son has not even offered to pay food and rent. He literally sits in his room all day, playing on his laptop. The only thing he does in a day, is walk the dog. That's it! My husband keeps telling me he'll handle him, but handling him mean making excuses and defending him. This is so opposite of what anyone would have expected from my husband.
His son has stolen treats that were the kids, he lied and let his brothers take the blame for it (I actually went through his backpack because I knew he was lying and found all the wrappers). I strongly suspect he stole money from my kids, as they both came to me in tears the same week saying they had money gone missing. When I try to help nicely, he says he'll change, when I yell, he rolls his eyes.
I just want him gone. Send him back to his mother so she can deal with him. I have three kids I need to raise and I wasn't counting on raising a 21 yr old who acts 6. I'm seriously thinking of ending my marriage over this.