I usually don't post on here, just read, but this has me really really upset.
Say what you will about my BF and his handling of his BM situation (long story short, BM lost her job, my BF loaned her $400 and she went out and got a tattoo with it. BF confronted her and said some pretty nasty things that he really does regret now. BM took out a restraining order on BF, they haven't spoken in a year and they are able to communicate now, but haven't.)
BM contacted me via FaceBook and said she was trying to be civil....then claimed that I was talking down on her to her child and her child came home saying "Daddy and Smashley say that Mommy is mean" and that if this continued we were going to have a huge problem.
This is beyond untrue. When I'm with my BF and his daughter, BM is the LAST thing on my mind, On top of that, I am rarely alone with BFs daughter - the only time I have been, we played with play-dough and the only words spoken were "that looks so good!" and "what animal should we make next?". When BF and I are together with his daughter, we're playing with her, or watching a movie, and we NEVER bring up BM.
I don't care for BM, but I would never seek to damage her relationship with her child. BM is the type of person that she can ruin that relationship all on her own, she doesn't need me to help her.
It just makes me upset that instead of attacking me personally, she has to attack something that she knows is very important to me - having a good relationship with BFs child. I've made it very clear in the past that I'm not trying to be her, I know that I can't be her, etc etc. I really don't know where BFs child is getting these things...or if she even said them at all. I wouldn't put it past BM to make this up to get a reaction out of me (which I haven't given, even though I would love to say something back).
Her family makes me upset too. BF and I have been together almost 2 years, known each other and been friends for many more. Last time I was visiting, BF and I drove to his work where his mom was going to meet us later. BMs mother picked up BFs daughter and as they were leaving, his daughter pointed to my car and said "That's Smashley's car! Smashley went to work with Daddy!" and apparently BMs mom had herself a little fit. It's not okay for me to be there and get to know BFs daughter after 2 years, but it's okay for her daughter to bring home guy after guy after guy, all of whom have interaction with BFs daughter?
I don't know. I hate that BM is such an expert manipulator and I hate that she knew this would make me upset. Attack me all you want, I know I have plenty of flaws. But don't try to punch holes in something that is important, and GOOD FOR YOUR KID! My BFs daughter loves me. I walk into the house and she runs into my arms. She always wants to play. We do puzzles, and play outside, and last time I was there we all washed my BFs car together and had a great time. My BF has even said if he and I were to break up, he'd get over himself for his daughters sake and he would want she and I to maintain a relationship because of how much she loves me and that I'm a positive female influence for her. I have never sought to replace BM. i don't speak negatively about her, I don't speak about her at all. BFs daughter is very clear that I am not "mommy" but "smashley". I'm not going to give her what she wants by replying to her, but I just wish she would grow up and stop smack-talking me all over the Internet and to her friends :/