Dealing with a Sociopath and he is tearing my family apart
My husband and I have been together for 7 years. He has 2 children from previous relationships, I have 3, and we have 2 together. Yes...we are building our own army.
Anyway, his son came to live with us 3 years ago. (He is now about to be 16) He use to come visit during the summer and things were ok, but he's always been a little...off. Because of his strange behavior, we worried about what might be going on at home. When questioned about it, he basically said he was being abused and neglected. Immediately, I told my husband that he needs to come live with us. Worst mistake I've ever made, but I practically begged for this nightmare.
Right away, he became a problem. He started physically hurting my children. The strange behavior became even stranger. Things would come up missing and eventually it would be found under his mattress or in his pillow case. He then began to physically hurt my cat. All of this within the first month he came to live with us, and it has only gotten worse. He is anti-social and lacks empathy to the point it is creepy. My husband and I are constantly fighting over this kid, I've even packed up the car and the kids and left twice and both times his kid had a smirk on his face. I think that is exactly what he wants. We also found out that everything he said about his "abuse" and "neglect" were all lies.
More recently, my oldest daughter (14) and my other older children were sitting around the table. She asked him, "If anything were to happen to us and we were dying would you help us?", he replied, "No, I don't even like any of you like that!" That has stuck with me more than anything else. If there was a complete stranger lying in the middle of the street or anywhere and my kids seen them, they would help. That's just what people with empathy do, they help others that need it. The fact that he said no and we are suppose to be his "family" really bothers me. A couple of months later, I hear him and my 4 year old arguing downstairs while they think I'm in the shower. I snuck downstairs and waited behind the wall where I could see them but they did not notice me. I see him ( the look on his face was that of a serial killer) telling my 4 year old...4 year old, that he is soooo ugly, and stupid, and he hates him. WHO DOES THAT?!?! When I came around the corner, he tried to lie. (which he does every time a word leaves his mouth) But when he realized that I had been standing there, he switched up like some kind of psycho and started laughing in my face!!!!
I've dealt with this for 3 years even after voicing that I no longer wanted him to live with us. At first, I was trying to be very delicate with my husband about the situation because, after all, this is his kid. Being delicate didn't work...obviously 3 years and he has been here. I live on edge every second he is in my home and it's come to the point where I am affected physically by just the thought of his presence. We can't leave him alone with the little ones...why should we have to live our lives like this???
He goes home for the summer. I told my husband he CAN NOT come back. However, I got a call at work from my husband telling me he is coming tomorrow. I said, HELL NO. So we talked about it. After about an hour, he said he understands and he really wasn't comfortable with him coming either but it was hard to tell him that. So after encouraging him to do the right thing, he tells me he is going to call the kids mom. Problem right there!!! So, she gives him a guilt trip and tells him that she shouldn't let me and my kids come in the relationship with him and his kid. Which I knew she was going to pull. So, he changed his mind again. We've been fighting since 6 am about this. I told him he needs to find another place to live because as soon as he leaves to pick him up, I am changing every single lock on the house. He then, got on his knees and begged me to give him another chance. I feel bad!!! Truly, I feel terrible to have to put him in this situation. If it were just my husband and myself, that would be totally different. I would suck it up for a couple more years and deal with it, but we are talking about 5 other children. Nobody wants him to come back. I know this sounds awful, and never in my life did I ever think I could feel this way about a child, but this situation is a nightmare. Someone...PLEASE just tell me what to do!!! I don't want my family to break up, but it is against my better judgment to bring him back in the house. I am afraid that he may really hurt one of my kids, but I don't want my husband to resent me forever. UGH!!!!