I'm concerned about the custody schedule, school and BM.
I posted about it before. Basically, BM and her DH are sharing one car and have been all summer long. It's NOT working.
Yesterday BM called DH and said she had made SS a dentist appt. for this morning but that she was going to be unable to take him (9 AM) because her DH would have the car. DH said she kept putting the phone down and he could hear her yelling/swearing at her DH about the whole issue.
She asked DH if he could take SS to the dentist. He really couldn't but he reschedule some appointments this morning and was able to take him.
But this is the second time in the last week that BM has been unable to transport SS where he needs to go.
They did a week by week schedule this summer and DH had to bring SS out to her every single time because she never has a car.
I'm concerned because school is starting next week. BM has to pick SS up from school every Monday, every Tuesday and every other Friday. (She drops him OFF at school every Tuesday, every Wednesday and every other Monday.)
His school is about 3 mins from our house but about 30 minutes from hers.
I am worried because I just don't see her being able to do all this driving to and from. Not sure what is going to change in the next week, you know?
Call me SELFISH but I am worried this is going to end up affecting ME big time. I am a planner. I need to know what the schedule is and where I need to be and when.
For example--right now--I KNOW that I pick SS up from school every Wednesday, every Thursday and every other Friday. I plan accordingly. I work part-time during the school year, but it's flex and from home. I don't work after 3 pm ANY DAY because I always pick DD up from school. BUT she has after-school things (Girl Scouts, swim team 2x a week this year, acting class, etc.) The afternoons we DON'T have SS are the days I try to plan DD's activities, or do things that aren't easy to do with 2 kids.
I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up being "on call" for BM and I am NOT okay with that.
It's a crap situation because if BM calls DH and says---hey, I can't get SS today, then he is going to expect ME to do it. Realistically, I cannot expect DH to leave work to get SS.
I would be FINE if I just knew that was the case, like if I KNEW I had to get him every day---but it's the unexpectedness of it all that bothers me. It makes me feel like an unpaid babysitter---like I am at their mercy and I can't plan anything because I don't know when BM is going to call and say she cannot get SS.
I tried to talk about it with DH and he said "It's not our problem, if BM cannot get him from school, she will have to figure it out" but he doesn't really mean that. At the end of the day---if BM calls at 2 pm and says I cannot pick SS up from school, OF COURSE DH is not going to leave SS sitting at school. No, he will call ME and if I say I cannot do it, he will be irritated with me.
And then the prob is---let's say I do pick him up for BM---then what? Am I supposed to wait around at home until she finds a way to get him? At what point do we say "you know what, he just needs to spend the school nights here with us" ????