Carsharing...and FSDs visit, or not
Several months ago, FDH and I moved to an area where public transportation was less accessible than where we had lived for the previous 2 years. I decided to buy a brand new car, which was well within my means and part of the plan I'd had for several months.
(A brief background, because my posts are very infrequent - FDH and I got engaged about 18 months ago, and I temporarily postponed wedding plans after finding out that he had been dishonest with me about a mountain of debt and how it was being managed, or not managed, as the case was. We agreed that before discussing the wedding again, that he would cut the debt in half and complete a number of outstanding items that had been hanging since his divorce 5-6 years ago, and over the last year he has made tremendous progress in every single area I asked him to address. Our relationship is the happiest it has ever been, as we build a financially strong future together and learn to start managing money as a couple. I feel like there is still some progress to be made before committing funds and emotional energy to a wedding, but in my heart I know we will go forward.)
When I bought the car, I bought it on my own. I am the only person on the insurance policy - as FDH and I are not married, and he is not a citizen, and he did not get his license until later in life, my insurance premium would have been significantly higher had I put him on the policy. We decided together that he would not drive the car and he is OK with it. FDH has a car, from when he was married, but it has been broken down at a friend's for FIVE YEARS...another story.
FDH is doing better managing his money, but doesn't have savings put aside specifically to pay the deductible should there be an accident, and he does not share the costs for the car.
Now the question: FDH's DD11 and DD7 are coming to visit for several days, and he has to make an 8-hour round trip to get them up and bring them here. He volunteered to rent a car, as he is going on a weekday and I am not available. (We agreed that on Sunday when we return them to the halfway point to meet BM and SF, that I was OK with driving.) I thought about loaning him my car to save him the expense. On the one hand it seems like if we are in this together, we're in this together, and don't half-ass and divide everything. On the other hand, I think it is a legitimate concern that financially and legally I would be stuck holding the bag in an accident, even if it is not FDH's fault. FDH is an excellent driver, and worthy of trust.
My question is what is your take, and how to handle potential questions from his DDs? I don't know that it is necessary to explain the details to kids, but they seem to have no sense of his vs. mine. Their BM and SF live in a large, fancy house and I am always resisting the urge to be ashamed/feel obligated to provide "upgrades". (I know this is wrong!) Last time they were here, they were bent out of shape to take the bus and metro when I was at work with my car (which of course, I am damn well entitled to be). I can just imagine - "She's so mean - she made Dad RENT a car to come get us!"
Yikes and double-yikes...I am a SD and can imagine this from their perspective. But from my adult perspective - why put myself at risk? Why do something that makes me uncomfortable? My private feeling is that FDH should handle his damn business and deal with his broken down car. I want to support visitation and I am the one who pushed for their visit, but I shouldn't have to provide a vehicle! Am I being too tough?