Stepchildren moved back with mom

janemarie5August 30, 2009

I posted awhile back, DH ex was moving down south (we are northerners) and we wondered what the kids would do. SK lived with us for the last 6-7 years, well, the highschooler decided to move after checking out the area this summer and the college aged transfered down south also. So, they moved a couple weeks ago, although highschooler was down there for most of the summer making her decision. Although I miss them and hope it's all that they want it to be, I have have to say in many ways it's a relief. In many ways the non custodial parent is idealized and can do no wrong, along with being the stepmom, sometimes felt like I was scrutinized.

My DH misses them but we are adjusting well, and reconnecting and enjoying our time. My DH is not a dweller or going to agonized over this, in his mind, it was their decision, and although he wished they stayed, if he can tried to stop them, it would have created unncessary friction. The bio mom has made lots of promises, let's see if she follows through.. and if she does, great, and if the kids love it down there, all the better. They will never look back at us and say we "ruined" their lives by stopping them.

So... anyways, that's the update..

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Well I guess sometime the old saying "if you love someone sometimes you have to let them go" holds true. They are practically adults and it is good you let them make the choice. Just be prepared to take them back if their bm breaks the promises she has made.

If she is anything like the bm in our case she promises the world and gives them nothing!

    Bookmark   August 30, 2009 at 1:19PM
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They are teens, they need to start making decisions and they will be with their mom. If they;ve lived with you 7 years, then its fair, for mom to pick it up now. We will see if her promises hold.
But in the end, i see no harm , let them learn about life and grow up. If you stopped them, they would resent you. Better to leave them go and if they want to return next year then they'll come back.
its the best you can do.

    Bookmark   August 31, 2009 at 8:44AM
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